Cleaning out the photo files

Each year I clean out the photo files as with a digital camera I think I take about 3,000 photos annually but eventually only keep about 500. As I sort through many favorites, I thought I would share a few which I loved the way they turned out or the story they tell.

Here they are: (Click on the photo to see a larger, more vivid photo)

The best sunset picture I have ever taken... Colorado Rockies!


The blank looks when you need to pull yourself from a race early...

Not a good place to have both feet off the ground at once...

No, it is not tie-dye... A bloody nose went back miles earlier, when the blood stopped, just put the shirt back on...

This was taken at FANS... Minimalist?

So we are at another year end. They come and go so fast...

As I approach 2011, I have some questions in which I may have some answers. I am closer to my 50th birthday and cannot wonder why everyone is getting old around me? Why do people refer to 50 as middle ages? Does this mean I am going to live to be 100? I doubt it!!! If I am only as young as I fell, how does that account for all my worn out part? If I get my parts updates will I be the man of steal? Why do I keep asking this body to hurry up when in reality I am slowing down?

As I ponder the past year, and many past, I continue to have questions. Although, I can honestly say I have learned a few things about life in general:

• No matter how bad someone treated you, they are human and we need to learn to forgive.
• I cannot solve all my own problems so I need to stop trying to solve other peoples problems.
• Always put a "No Trespassing" sign directly above your "welcome" mat.
• Worry works, everything I worry about seems not to happen.
• If I pluck all my gray hairs, so that I will not become gray, I would be bald.
• Plucking those hairs from my ears and nose are easier than finding them.
• When I was 19, I knew everything, no need to ask. By the time I was 30, I was pretty sure there was more to know. But he time I was 40, my kid knew everything and corrected all my mistakes. Now I am pushing 50, and really know the most important thing, I have so much more to learn.
• Every day of my life is a struggle, yet I wake up each morning thankful to be alive and given another day to try to get it right.
• I am blessed to still have all God's blessings: Sight, Sound, Touch, Taste and Smell.
• I am thankful that I have met so many and have so many people in my life.
• Other peoples pets have taught me more about God's love than 1,000 sermons!
  

So if I do not post for the rest of the year... Thanks for reading (suffering or enjoying) my thoughts this year. Until then, think about the following...

"People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas."

"Be at war with your vices; at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better human."

Carry on my friends... carry on...

What, it's December 23rd! HOW?

Time flies as we age. I guess that is for sure in my life right now! I recall it being September like it was yesterday. Adding in some workouts to my 70 plus hour work weeks has made time fly. I get out of bed, head to work, work through lunch, leave work are about 7 and about three of those days I got a workout in. Sure feel good and desire to do it so much more. But how?

Well, I could get up at 5:30 AM and head to the gym. Tried that one day but was to tired at 7 PM to head to the gym. Just not sure what is the best solution, but glad I am still trying. In these stressful times it is so much easier to give up.

I did pick up my son last weekend in Colorado. It was a different experience than ever before. I think he is stressed as well. For the first time since I got divorced over a decade ago he started yelling at me about things including the Divorce and my parenting . It was an uncomfortable experience, that is for sure. Sometimes it is hard to forget harsh words of others, even if they were spoken out of anger and not intended to be as harsh as they were taken. This is a lesson I know I took long to learn, and look like he is following in my footsteps.

Could be I am just a little to sensitive. With life just being work, sleep, work, sleep, try to clean the place, work, sleep... I just feel like I have lost life. I was talking to women who was recently released from prison and she was stating that life was better there. While she lost freedom, in her free life she has no time or many and has less freedom.

But when my son went on the verbal attack, it was difficult. One thing I am most proud of is being a father. I really gave and continue to give everything I can all with a focus that he improves and becomes a better man. Although, I think that was one of many reasons I fail in so many way in other things such as relationships or self-preservation. I learned the hard way there needs to be a balance between all aspects in life. I guess that is what being a Type A does to a life.

I also goofed up and somehow when I washed his 5 loads of clothes he had built up, somehow bleach got on a few of his favorite shirts. Another black eye on that one. But then again, somehow I goofed up, but not sure how.

I have been getting plenty of questions lately about Grandma's Marathon. It is the 35th year and it would be my 27th. My heart if not in it at all. I long for trails but clearly despise the road. I respond that I will do it if someone who thinks they would struggle to finish, I would go with them and pull them through. Last year I finished and only ran 15 miles from January through June, so mentally i am fine. But that is getting harder as I really dislike running that same course every year.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. My son will be here, I set up the three foot high tree. Looks so funny with the presents hiding the tree. Oh well, so much easier to take down, right? All I can say is I hope 2011 does not go as fast as 2010. I need to make adjustments and get life back on track. Many roads to travel and I still do not have a road map. So I will keep using the instinct to determine the best path and assure that I am not to proud to turn around and go back when i think I went the wrong way. I the past, I kept going and as I age, in realize it is better to admit my mistakes and try another path. That will assure eventually, I will be on the right road. But then again, as my friend points out, mother nature can change the path at anytime and all I can do is be patient and use the knowledge I have gained.

Carry on my friends...

Expectations

I was working out with a friend the other day and she started talking about feeling like she was on the outside looking in to life. I questioned what she meant by that statement. Summarizing what she said, she said she while her husband is next to her, she feels like the is a glass wall between them (except when infrequent intimacy is involved but all other times), she said at her now job she just seems to not fit in, she said with her over-achieving family she feels left behind, and she said with most workout friends, she feels less than adequate.

A consistent point was “she feels” and I asked her what they have done to make her “feel” that way. She said they do not smile, do not say hi, and they are just there with little appreciation for her efforts. I explained I know what she means, because I have been there as well, and some ways, I still am. I commented she should read “the cost of living” (http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9781590173275). In that book, it is not about the women in the world with perfect exteriors — their hair done just so, their manicures never chipped, their voices soft and silky and never saying the wrong thing. Instead the author writes about draggled laces, sagging hems, and ribbons undone. Her stories about everyday women, heroines are the awkward, the hopeless, the immature, and the ones on the outside of womanhood looking in, like her and many others. I told her I do not think it will be a revelation, but is a good read. I will wait to hear any comments, if she reads it.

What I thought was how this is preconceived notion that we have a certain level of self worth and a certain amount we can give, before we expect to benefit from the work and effort. It is the expectation within us that creates disappointment. Like when I expect to finish a marathon in less than 4 hours. I feel like I failed when in reality, I had exceeded more than 99.6 percent of all humans. (So the web says in a study from 2007.) What a great thing I should celebrate. But my expectations are what really caused the problem.

I do this all the time! Have expectations and then big time disappointments. May my next 15-minute per mile run/jog be joyous for what it is, a successful run. Still doing more than a majority of word, just not accomplishing anything in comparison with the friends I keep...

Carry on my friends…

Feeling positive...

It was a nice Thanksgiving weekend. I did work 9 hours Thanksgiving Day as well as another 34 hours Friday through Sunday, but had a great time with my son who flew in in Wednesday night. We got tickets for the Gopher/Iowa game from a friend and attended, even though it was cold, it was fun. He was able to spend time with his Aunt, Uncle, niece, nephew and Grandparents as well.

For those who may not know him or be aware, he is attending the Colorado School of Mines in Golden, Colorado. (The thing about coming home is I think they catch up on his sleep...) He is 21 and really a great person. He has run Grandma's with me twice, and kicked my bottom doing so (but i still have a PR just under an hour of his PR). He still plays great tennis. (See the club tennis page.).

A little more about him. It was Thanksgiving, 1994 when there was an event which would change his life. It also changed much for all around him as well. We were visiting in my fathers farm where his right hand was amputated. He really is lucky to survive. He never really sulked in loss and is very successful due to his attitude. Of course, attitude is so much. If you do not believe me check this out: (Website: http://www.attitudeisaltitude.com/)



But I think there was a attitude and balance he learned from his grandpa, his mom, Neal Halberg, Tommy Valentini, Steve Wilkenson and so many others. Parents do not raise a child successfully without others and there were so many others that have made him into the successful man he is today.

Enough about that, although once again on this weekend I spent time with some good tears. Almost each year cry less about the accident and the impacts of that day. But this year, as I have written before, it is the loss of loved ones which really hurts a little more. I think is is strange the way some people are sheltered and never see the things in this world other experience. Some of you know Shelley, we speak of how she has never had a human loss. She has had real bad luck lately with two of her three cherished pets getting ill and were put down. That was hard for her and she adjusted, I think.

Well this weekend, was an especially hard one as well one with elation of having my son home. I kept hearing songs on the radio which brought back memories. I started to cry when a few of Dana's favorite songs came on and I bet I looked like an idiot crying at the stoplight. As many of you know how much Dana was such a positive influence in my life only to see hers cut short...

Then I heard some 80's songs. That was when a good friend committed suicide and two other were lost in a car accident. Then the late 80's, when my nephew drowned in a few feet of water. These losses hit me hard this weekend for some reason.

But a good cry seems to wash away some of the pain and sorrow we hold within ourselves. I know that the positive feeling that comes from a good hard cry really makes things better for a while. But it is still hard overcoming the loss of a great friend. I know there have been many and there will be more. But I try hard to recall the best, and that usually helps. In 1988, I had a great friend and we grew apart, that is also hard to accept but when I see they are doing well and happy, that can only bring a great smile. Life throws us so many curves, but as good catcher does not let the ball of life pass... We grasp it hard and throw it back for another pitch!

Today I was talking to someone who asked me how is it so often I laugh? I responded by saying, "Everyday I laugh because I can". Laughing is beneficial my your health. It has been said that laughing for 10 minutes heartily is equivalent to 10 minutes of moderate jogging. So tonight, as I came home after crying several times throughout the day, I thought if laughing is beneficial to your health, what are the benefits of crying? We all have those nights here tear drops saturate our pillows. For those who say they have never cried, I say you have never lived.

And this cry will get me into the gym more often, I can feel it! It was something that needed to get done and as I close this post, I smile... My son will leave tomorrow but it will be a brighter day for so many reasons that I know his going back to school after a short visit, I will be OK.

Carry on my friends...

Fatigue, memory loss and other losses

uBefore I start, all this talk about the "pat down" was put in a different perspective in a cartoon sent to me by a friend. Here it is:



After a third week of 75-80 hour work weeks including Saturday/Sunday of over 26 hours on those two days on successive weekends, I tend to find I have a loss of memory. I used to get concerned over this, but not any longer. What is amazing is how people will tell me what I accomplished and I look at them like "where have I been".

I started to compare this to my long running efforts. I have had several training runs which were over 20 hours. As I look back, I recall a common thing, once I reach a certain level of fatigue, my body goes into some type of auto-pilot before it crashes.

Like the 2008 ST 100 attempt. I recall so much of the race, until about 4 AM (20 hours after the start). Then the memories fade and by the 25th hour, I am totally unaware of what happened. My mind just shut down. I recalled when I quit at 28 hours, like my mind took back control of the body and that was the end.

In these long weeks I find the same. I go into auto pilot. I just float along. I am actually much more productive then when I am aware of my surroundings. It is an interesting phenomena. I am not sure if it has been studied or not but would be interesting. But sadly, I do not realize who I have spoke to or what I said. This could be dangerous. But the general consensus of others I as is my facts are significantly accurate and I can answer much more detailed questions on the fly. This is just strange.

I had read taking extra vitamin B12 can assist in reducing this activity. I used to take a Multiple B vitamin each morning but lately, I have skipped taking it on a regular basis. I should consider taking it for 2 weeks and track the progress since I have two more bad weeks before I get to come back to a 50 hour week. At times I think this is all a bummer but in reality, in this time of job difficulties, I am just happy to be working. I have many friend who would love to be in my shoes, so it is not bitching, just the facts.

I read an article today which was actually sad for me to read. Many might have know the 53 year old Mike Broderick. He finished Western States 100, in August finished the 50K Green Lakes Endurance Run and in September, he finished a marathon and half-marathon. On November 4, 2010, he died. He had an aggressive lung cancer.

He was a lawyer left the profession to do hat he liked - run, coach and teach. He threw himself into running with knowledge was so vast that he was in demand as a coach. I only met the man once. He reminded me of me with little tact in what we said but we were also funny and charismatic. There is that trait of being happy with running whether we were first, last or in between.

One website posted a e-mail from mike which read:

"It turns out that the shortness of breath and other symptoms which I have been experiencing over the past several weeks are not due to pneumonia after all. I apparently have lung cancer and am now in the process of further testing and evaluation to determine the extent to which it may have spread and to begin a course of treatment."

He died just weeks later.

As I age, as we all age, we see life just for what it is... Precious. It is times like these I really need to look in the mirror and not see the fat, out of shape runner, but the person who has been given another breath, another step and another moment to either cherish, or waste.

May we all cherish our loved ones, friends and even enemies on the Thanksgiving Holiday.

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Another run

I did another 2 mile run. It was rather enjoyable. Well, kind of sucked in the process but after i was done it was so great when I was done. The Strassburg sock really helps the PF, but the pain in my toes in the morning is really odd. I will take a little toe pain in the morning anytime over the PF pain.

There is a benefit for Larry and Colleen Pederson next weekend. My son is here from Colorado and i am working tennis and will miss it. If anyone wants to meet great people, help great people and work off a little post Thanksgiving calories, check it out! Should be great!

I was talking to a few friends of mine and they pointed out the Wild West Relay. If I get back into it by next year, I may have to have my son and a few others give it a try. It is 36 legs and 200 miles. There are several 7-12 team runners. Entry is about $1,300. The one I like if the Flatliners (all runners live below 2,500 feet. Minnesota qualifies! They have structured formats or Helter Skelter where anyone runs whatever they can... Leave Fort Collins and heads to Wyoming then southwest, over the mountains! Any interest?

For a shorter race, consider The Colorado Relay? Both sound cool...

This is the type of events that can make me dream and motivate me as needed...

Either way, I have a few weeks where I will have no less than 70 hours work weeks so one week at a time. May we all have a great Thanksgiving and take care to you all.

I want to close with a story I heard today:

A man was running behind an Amish Carriage which has a bumper sticker which read:

"Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats."

This was on one bumper and on the other it read:

"CAUTION: AVOID THE EXHAUST!"

Carry on my friends, carry on...

2 miles, 31 minutes, no pain....

Just a quick, well slow, update... The SOCK has worked well for the PF... Running, just in time for snow this weekend! Great timing.

My pal Wayne Nelson shared the comic below...



Cool!

God bless our Veteran's on this day... Carry on...

All the world's a stage...

From Shakespeare's As You Like It. Quite frankly, I hated it. I had a English teacher in the 11th grade. She was into this crap (so I called it back then and slowly learning to appreciate literature, I SAID SLOWLY).

The class has to memorize the full passage! She exclaimed it was the greatest comparative analysis of a stage and life with the seven stages of a man's life: the infant, the schoolboy, the lover, the soldier, the justice, the pantaloon, and second childhood.

I recall I passed missing only four words. What does this have to do with anything? I have not heard or desired to hear that series of words since 1978, but lately, especially when I am alone lifting weights, doing yoga or whatever I do when drift off, it spins in my head, over and over.

I have recently worked my way through many lines and decided to write them down, just to see what I got right. Then I wanted to look it up to see if I was even close. So here is what I recalled and then the bold/italic are words I missed and words in "quotes" are words I incorrectly added:

All the world's a stage,
And all the men "are" and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like "as hot as a" furnace

That is about all I recalled with any accuracy. I guess i did not recall as much as I thought as I only made it to the lover!

What does that have to do with this blog or running. Absolutely nothing. But it does make me wonder why, as I get older, I have these recollections of decades ago. Recollections I have not even cared about nor really want to relive. Not sure why, but I can not help but repeat to myself often during a day...

I also was thinking, maybe it has to do with a mid-life crisis mental exercise the close to 50 year old mind plays on oneself. Made me recall the best mid-life crisis story I have ever heard. It goes:

A man who was married for over 25 years looks to his wife and said "honey, 25 years ago I lived in a cheap apartment, had a car that barely ran, slept on a sofa bed or a floor, watched a black and white 12 inch TV but every night I slept with a hot 25 year old blond! Now, I have a great house, two great cars, several bedroom with many nice beds, a 50 inch Plasma TV but I sleep with an average 50 year old women. So Honey, I think you are not keeping up with the rest of the things in my life."

The wife turned to exclaim, "go find the hot 25 year old blond and i will make sure you are living in a cheap apartment, may not even let you have the car, and the sofa bed would be the best you could wish for..."

Could be reminiscing is not a good thing after all? But ...

All the worlds a stage...

Carry on my friends - Carry on!

Terrible too's

I am felling a little better. I have been taking photo's of the scale each day this month. Man daily scale photo's tell so much. I bounced as much as 10 pounds from the high and low in the last 10 days with today being 6 pounds less than 10 days ago, but 4 pounds heavier then two days ago? Goofy stuff... Will see how it goes.

The heading is the long stated questions. Once you feel better, how much is to much. I was thinking I may concentrate on biking for the time being with a goal to run once I get a 100 mile bike ride completed... Yes at once. I have done several 25-50 rides over the past month, so i am well on the way. I have been doing everything I can think of and everything I have read for PF and it actually is feeling good, but still hurts a little. Maybe weight loss from biking may make a good overall start?

Many runners, especially people who are new to running, make the "terrible too's" mistake. They get so excited and enthused about their running that they do too much mileage, too fast, too soon. They mistakenly think that "more is better" when it comes to running. As a result, they often start to develop common overuse running injuries. Been there, done that... so what is too much. Some pro's say:

1) Be more conservative than you think you need to be with how often, how long, and how much you run, especially early on in your development. Increase your mileage gradually. Don't let your weekly mileage increase by more than 10% a week. So if I start at 520 feet, I should only increase it to 572 feet the next week and so on... That is 25 weeks to a mile. But then if my first run is 5 miles, then I should be able to do a 100 mile run in 6 months. Both are ridiculous in my mind, so does that void the 10% rule?

2) Pay attention to aches and pains. If a pain gets worse as you continue runs, that's a warning sign that you should stop your run. If this were true, I would never run. Hey, close to 50, what doesn't hurt? Good, does this mean i call in sick and stay in bed?

3) Take at least a day off... from what, everything or just running? I get so confused.

Main pint is I want to run, I am just a little scared to start as I am concerned I will not control my much... But I still do not how to control my much and may just do too much...

I am a little excited but at the same time will be a little of a loss the next three weekends. No tennis... Well not really as I am heading to Dallas Friday for a Officials meeting, then home for two weekends before I have five weekends in a row. Then we are a week before Christmas... Wow, where did 2010 go? As I get older, time seems to go faster...

I read something the other day and found it hard to believe, so I google it and it is real. Given that a fellow Blogger is going through this right now I did not know what to think about the shirt... Very mixed, but creative, that is for sure...

Time to call it a night. Viking have depressed me so I guess I should sleep well!

Carry on my friends...

PF ... No not Changs

Not sure how many of you out there ever battled Plantar Fasciitis (PF). I think most know what it is and the problems it bring for those who have the issue. The plantar fascia is a thick fibrous band of connective tissue originating on the bottom surface of the calcaneus (heel bone) and extending along the sole of the foot towards the five toes. It can stop you from starting. I have battled it since December and tried rest, massage therapy, stretching, night splints, motion control running shoes (made the knee hurt), Cold therapy, I have orthotics, anti-inflammatory medications, rolled the foot on ice calls ad many more, but just can not shake it. I am thinking of taking the injection of corticosteroids, but hate that thought.

Anyone have advice. I know a big one is LOSE THE GUT but that is also hard when you limp from PF.

SO I continue to bike, walk and yoga to get batter balance. The yoga seems to help most. One thing that is really hard is standing on my feet for hours. So I know my tennis officiating is not good as I will be on my feet for 6-10 hours each day. I have assignments 8 out of the next 10 weekends with one of the off weekend volunteering at Surph the Murph. So I need to think of ways of minimizing the impact of standing all day as the weekend after an event I limp quite a bit for a few days.

Today at tennis I had a 12 year old boy really act up and made many of us frown at his behavior. I recalled a story I told him it to explain his behaviour. Then afterward, I felt little bad as with me not running as much I have been a little grumpy... These life lessons are there for us all, not just the junior players. I am sharing the story with you all and maybe you will use it on your own youth or get remined of the importance of controlled emotions and comments to others...

Enjoy...

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said "you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one." You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.

Carry on my friends...

Busy but excited...

There have been four reasons for decreased blog activity this past year.

First, with two big surgeries and recoveries, I have gained weight and just feel like crap. I have officially made the 50 pound point. That meaning I gained 50 of the 94 I lost in 2006.

Second, not a whole lot of physical activity to get me back on track.

Third, the job which supports my habits has been killing me. I love the fact that I have not had to face a layoff like many have in this economic downturn. We are down about 1/3 in staff and things are picking up. I have been working 55-60 hour weeks. My son and girlfriend keep yelling at me as I do not write down the overtime. I just believe I have a job to do and I get it done. I guess I should write it down so the higher up see we need one more staff person. Then still so about 10-15 hours of tennis officiating on weekends. Although, I have taken a few weekends in a row off from tennis and feel less exhausted...

The last thing is I have accepted the nomination to be on the USTA Northern Board and USTA Sectional Chair of Officials. One of those Jobs where you start with a low salary and they add a zero every year. (You know $0.00 to start). But like volunteering for races, this has it satisfaction built in to the duty.

With all that, I want to share the Superior 100 volunteer time gave me some inspiration. There is the Surph the Murph in a few weeks and I will get another does of inspiration as I hope I will get an aid station this year. Hope for great weather like last year. Nice and cool for the runner and I got 10 hours at a great campfire while supporting good friends. (If you want to see inspiration, see the link for this you tube video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbXgQqbOoU) I have lost 3 pounds last week and had some good workouts (no running yet as my right PF is still so painful... may seek a shot. Hate to but it has been all year!). But did get 102 miles biking in over the weekend! Cool! Love the cool, brisk bike ride in the morning! May go the whole month without filling the car!

Anyway, hoping this is the upswing, just in time for the great fall ahead (no pun intended). May I get on the trails with many of you soon... If you are not on the trails now and want to start, drop a line. This overweight guy is slow and could use the support as well. It if fun!

Carry on my friends...

Should be an update ...

On my wonderful ST 100 volunteer experience, but...

My job is getting insane in the demands placed on me and I am just so busy that when I get a chance I need to take it or I lose that chance. So tonight I relaxed after a demanding workday, I watched The Notebook. I needed to relax after a difficult meeting. I was also wanting to watch it as it really is a whole bunch of emotions which makes me remember to not to expect an explanation for the unexpected or think that can't accept no explanation, just keep the faith and move onward. Some who have seen it may agree with me on that statement, others may think I am way off base.

But this also made me think of the challenge a fellow blogger is facing. She writes about the "C" word and how life has thrown her a curve. (an that is not the "C" word) I think about her wonderful and welcomed sharing she has given me in through her blog, even though we have never met. The love and support amongst her family is so wonderful. She has the best tools to beat the "C" and get her desired NYC Marathon, all in good time.

But the Notebook and my fellow blogger made me think... Will my heart ever allow anyone to be that close to live for the moment together or to support me though a very difficult ordeal... Opening always means increased risk of being broken... like the way I feel about my DNF's at the ST 100 and I ask if I lack the desire to train to avoid another dejected feeling one gets from the DNF. Strange correlation for some, but in my over-analytical mind, I wonder...

But just like a 100 mile race, we have to keep our hearts in it or we will fail. In the Notebook, the man dies doing what he loves (which is great part of his life), keeping the love of his life. May we all find love and never let it go... Even if it is one mile at a time, the end is so rewarding...

At least that is what I have read from the pal's who are now proud owners of the elusive red jacket!

Carry on my friends, and never look back without a smile...

Going to Superior 100

Not to run, but to get away and intermittently help out the runner and have fun with Shelley. Been a while since we had a getaway together and I will need to monitor my time at the stations and other friends...

I plan on leaving town about 6 AM Friday and stopping by some aid stations along the way. I will have my camera at hand so all you runners stop before the station to comb your hair and if needed, put on make-up (kidding). I am also looking to maybe do a late night leg with a runner and maybe that last part if there is a pal who is on the edge and could use a little push. Of course, that depends on how my next two weeks evolve.

I am off the levequin for over a week and can feel the difference. I did have a little home invasion of dust mites/fleas or something. My son and I woke with mosquito like bites (3-5 each night) that were such a nuisance. A little bomb spay after a throughout cleaning and then re-cleaning has taken care of it, but it was really a pain! At least with the medicine taking me out, I had time.

I took my son back to Colorado a little over a week ago. Was a nice trip. Had a great sunset...

Also took a 4 mile hike in a place called Mayhem Gulch. Would have been a great trail to run on! Did not take the Garmin but it was up, up, up and turned around and we went down, down, down... You can see the zig zag of the trail on the side of the mountain.


Anyway, that is an update. Not much new other than being busy and staying alive.

As a final note, my pal Carl is ceased his blog. I wrote a piece a while back on "WHY BLOG" as I wondered why several times. Then I thought about it... In summary, to keep in touch, share joys and sorrows... Just to have a place to share our thoughts and desires. I understand Carl's decision, but wish he would reconsider. A once a month post is not to demanding and you know what, it is the only way I can keep in touch if I am not able to run. But the trend is to get info on Facebook nowadays but that is so fragmented and all over the place, the blog creates a local place for all the successes and possible DNF's for one person, in one place, in order. I just enjoy reading so many blogs of people I really do not know, but can feel their success and failures and empathize. So please Carl, reconsider... And Wayne, I like the Blog better!!!

Even though I do not comment, I keep up with what is going on and for those who post and I read it... Thanks! (Yes that is Beth, Denise, Steve's (both), Don, Mike, Helen, Kel, Lisa and so many other...)

Hope I capture a nice digital image of you having fun at the 100 or 50. If not, please enjoy the day and smile...

Carry on my friends...

What used to be...

I read this and thought about many relationships I have had over the years and how I hear so many people say that they no longer are in love with their mate because the mate has changed so much... We all have changed over time. Like my Doctor tells me, I am getting so old I should not buy green banana's (joking). So I wanted to share this story from the pastor of a Church service I attended Sunday. It was about people changing and our love can waver with change...

They have been married for two years. He loves literature, and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography, and he handled their wedding photos. He loves her very much.

Likewise with her. She has a quick temper, and always bullies him.

He is a gentleman, and always gives in to her. Today, she's being "willful" again.

Her: "Why can't you be the photographer for my friend's wedding? She promised she'd pay."

Him: "I don't have time that day."

Her: "Humph!"

Him: "Huh?"

Her: "Don't have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need."

Him: "I... someone will definitely recognize my work some day."

Her: "Humph! I don't care; you'll have to do it for her.

Him: "No."

Her: "Just this once?"

Him: "No."

Negotiation's broken. So, she gave the final warning: "Give me a Yes within three days, or else..."

First day.

She "withheld" the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, and hi-fi... Except the double bed, to show her "benevolence". Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn't mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.

Second day.

She conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets, and warned, "Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences." He's nervous now. Night. On the bed. He begs for mercy, hoping that she'll end this state. She doesn't give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.

Third day Night. On the Bed. He's lying on the bed, looking to one side. She's lying on the bed, looking to the other side.

Him: "We need to talk."

Her: "Unless it's about the wedding, forget it."

Him: "It's something very important."

She remains silent.

Him: "Let's get a divorce."

She did not believe her ears.

Him: "I got to know a girl."

She's totally angry, and wanted to hit him.

But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet.

He took a photo out from his chest.

Probably from his undershirt pocket, that's the only place she didn't go through yesterday. How careless.

Him: "She's a nice girl."

Her tears fell.

Him: "She has a good personality too."

She's heartbroken, because he puts a photo of some other girl "close to his heart".

Him: "She says that she'll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married."

She's very jealous, because she said the same thing in the past.

Him: "She loves me truly."

She wishes to sit up and scream at him: "Don't I?"

Him: "So, I think she won't force me to do something that I don't want to do."

She's thinking, but the rage won't subside.

Him: "Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?"

Her: ".....!"

He brings the photo before her eyes.

She's in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning mark of a slap on his face.

He sighs.

She cries.

He puts the photo back to his pocket.

She pulls her hand back under the blanket.

He turns off the light, and sleeps.

She turns on the light, and sits up.

He's asleep.

She lost sleep.

She regrets treating him the way she treated him.

She cried again, and thought about a lot of things.

She wants to wake him up.

She wants to have an intimate talk with him.

She doesn't want to push him anymore.

She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.

She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry, and she wanted to laugh.

It's a nicely taken photo of her. A photo he took for her when they met.

She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.

He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.

This makes me think back to how I have changed as have many friends and other people I have known over the years. Many of you know my ex-wife and she is a fabulous human being and we once loved being with each other. We to changed. Amazing how I clearly recall the love, the hate and then the acceptance... While the parting is always hard, I am told she is truly happy. Although, there may be more change. I know many including myself who have been on the high and low roller coaster ride of giving love and feeling loved. As i age, I desire that flat ride on the old model T with the rail to guide me... You now, like at the amusement park. But then again, I would have missed out on so much pleasure and pain. Memories...

I think I am going spend this week thinking about all the quality activities and smiles so many people have shared with me. Those memories will never be taken away. Who know, it might make me smile a whole lot more and if I really look at my life, I have so much to smile for...

Carry on my friends. Carry on...

Crying...

I have been battling this infection for years. We have been trying to pinpoint when it all started and I was not sure. While the Levequin has its miserable side effects, my head is unlike any recent history I can recall. So clear!

Today I was making several homemade burritos. I have a vacuum (food saver) and make several and freeze them. Use whole foods like made from real beans, tomatoes, rice, green chili's, organic cheese, avocado, shredded zucchini, and onion all rolled in a spinach tortilla. For the first time in years, I CRIED CUTTING AN ONION. Wow, that is a switch. I can not recall the last time an onion made me cry. Same type, nothing different. The infection must finally getting it's bottom kicked and my senses improving? There is hope...

Another 7 days of the medicine. I leave for Kalamazoo for tennis Thursday and will return Sunday. Should be fun. Looking foreword to getting clearance to workout again by mid - august. Just in time to be cooler?

That is about all. I think I will go cut another onion... What a welcomed feeling!!!

Carry on!

I hate that!

I know the economy is tough and I hate to complain about street maintenance, but this year I have found the roads are so rough to bike on compared to last. I have been experimenting on various ways to commute, especially at night, as the main roads I ride most frequently are just plain worn out. I have never broke a spoke twice in 6 weeks and only found out because my bike tire was a little out of balance, otherwise I would not have known. Now this is not from hitting a pothole or jumping a curb or anything like that, just from ordinary riding.

This has really been a deterrent as the rides are less enjoyable. I have completed several 20 plus mile rides the past few weeks and will do more in the future. I just do not enjoy them as much as it is like trail running, keep the head down and take action to miss the holes and other imperfections on the road.

Besides the roads in the area I ride, a coworker, who drives from Minneapolis (uptown area) recently was told that in less that 50,000 miles, her shocks and struts are totally worn. They said this is more common with the poor condition of the roads... I guess we ill pay it one way or the other...

Enough complaining but it really ticked me off yesterday! Plan on some good rides and a few runs this week. Leave for Kalamazoo next week, then I get back and head to Colorado. It will be August 27 before I finally have a weekend at home, able to rest and relax, but then I really would like to have a few 6 miles runs by then?

Hope all is well and everyone enjoyed the great weekend! Carry on...

Update...

Last night I did a 34 mile bike ride with stops throughout the ride including a concert at Lake Harriet. This was after a few 3 mile runs over the past week. I am feeling pretty good. Staying away from the scale as I just have enough reasons to feel bad, so i will eliminate that opportunity. Just working out regular will take care of the weight, I know it. When I work out, I automatically eat healthier. Although I went to the Doctor today and the infection is still there. Not as bad as before surgery but he stated there are medication he may consider which will not allow me to run or workout much for a few weeks. That would suck but if that ends this multiple year downgrade, I would embrace it fully!

I must say that what has been a problem is stress... Just like many in this economy there is stress which impacts everyone. One thing that can be stressful is relationships. Especially when I think I am dating someone, but I am not sure... Talk about being confused.

Amazing how stress free one can be, all-be-it lonely, when there is no relationships in life. But then I see some friends who are not in a relationship who are so stress free and other who are just burring in a hole. I see the same with married couples. I will never understand it, and may never want to understand.

You know, I am not talking only about male/female relationships exclusively, but those with others like a sister, co-workers, sons, ex-wives, friends, etc... They all are wonderful to have and add benefit to ones life. There are times, however, you just want to be alone.

My son recently blew his top with regard to me just being here, grandpa calling, his girlfriend calling, his friends calling. He just yelled "I just want to be alone and have time by myself". It was a great example of what I mean of the impact of a relationship, we love them, we hate them.

My next few weeks are busy. This weekend a junior event that has National Points. Then my son and I may head to the Superior Trail next weekend, dependant on the weather. The following weekend I am in Kalamazoo, MI. The weekend after that, Colorado. The summer will go fast.

I am pretty sure I will be up at the Superior 100 as a volunteer, if needed. Either was if I go I will be taking a few hundred photo's. I will know in a few weeks if I get the time off from tennis to go up there. It would be so enjoyable!

I think I will go for a walk in the woods. It is very hot but a few miles with the camera is nice.

Until next time, carry on...

Grave visits?

Since there is little running going on in my life (finding a slow recovery from Grandma's), I have been letting the mind wonder. Although, this is not an uncommon thing, for my mind to be all over the place. Could be ADD?

My son is back from Alaska. It was funny, he did not shave the whole time and as a first for him, shaving 8 days of growth was an experience... I could only smile. He did have a great time... I am so proud of him and the comfort he has in travel and life. Now if I can only get his car out of the garage.

Now what was this post about... Could be many things... my weight is now over 270... ouch. But I still did several runs of 3-4 miles each at 12 minutes miles... So not all bad! I really need to get this under control!!! Stress is a big reason. But that is not what I was writing about.... Oh yea, grave visiting.

I was watching Forrest Gump Sunday and near the end of the show, I was really struck by something. He was standing at the grave of Jenny and talking to her like she was there. He left he a letter from little Forrest for her to read. Made me think.

When I visit Fort Snelling or other graveyards, I always get the strange aura. I read the markers and so many thoughts go through my head. Some wonderful, some sad, some strange. So I was thinking, I have never as long as I recall, visited a grave site of someone I know... I was really struck by this.

I started to think of Dana and how she was taken from this earth early. Then again, was she. I often think of the words from the Pastor when my 3 year old nephew dies. His words were Gods plan for Aaron's life was three years or Dana 36 years, they lived those years fully. That pastor emphasized that life being short is all do to the expectations we place on life.

Do I buy into this? I do not know. It is all confusing...

What watching Forrest Gump speak to Jenny make me think is how life can change at any time... I makes me want to take a trip to Portland. To visit a grave old a dear friend. Just to talk... I miss her and need to talk to her... It is strange to have this feeling, but Kayak.com has some good prices... Now I just need to coordinate the tennis and work and maybe, I will be happy and a hole in my chest will be less of a hole...

Isn't it strange how the littlest thing can trigger emotions... But without emotions, where does that leave us? Well for me fat... Emotional eating. Well, I am felling positive about the steps I am taking and that gives me hope...

Hope all well in this hot July as you train for many races. I am thinking I will not race at all this year and look forward to Superior 100. I am trying to get out of a tennis assignment so I can volunteer!

Until then or another post, carry on my friends...

Annie, may she rest in peace!

Friday was one of the worst days of my girlfriend’s life, as I saw it… Annie, one of her Golden Retriever’s took very ill. She had a tumor the size of a basketball, which was putting pressure on all her organs, and there was very little question of what options there were. This just weeks after an illness took the aged family cat, Palay! Not a good June for Shelley!

I met Annie (the dog) in 2004. I had just started dating Shelley and she had two dogs and a cat (Palay). If I have the facts right, Annie was the dog she kept after the divorce (Oliver went with her ex-husband). Shelley wanted Annie to have a companion and purchased the male Golden Retriever, Jackson. With two of the most diverse personalities, they provided many memories. Me not being a strong animal lover, they seemed attracted to me. I had some real bad issues with dogs as a kid and grew to resist getting attracted to an animal.

Annie and Jackson always seemed to sense that I was indifferent. They would always try to get my attention. Jackson aggressive like but Annie with her graying hair would just plop her head there and look at me. Just like she was always saying, please be my friend. I did just that. They grew on me and I learned to enjoy my visits and walks with them. Now it will be a walk of one and that will be hard at first.

After Annie was euthanized, the Vet did the best job ever helping with the pain we all felt. My son came and afterward he asked why I was crying. He said he has never seen me cry and knew my general approach to dogs. I explained, Annie was special and many times when Shelley was out of town or after my surgeries, Annie seemed to know what to do… She seemed to always approach me like a loving mother, not demanding anything but just wanting you to know she is there, always willing to make anything better. It is very painful to see her go but the right decision. So I, like any human, would have cried with that much sorrow, seeing what had become a dear part of my life, go away…

R.I.P. Annie, may you and Palay have a great time together in heaven! You were special to many!

Carry on…

I heard this and thought... this is like me!

Wow, what a day…

I decided to wash my car today. I start walking to the garage and I noticed the mail on the table. Ok, I am going to wash the car but first I need to go through the mail. So I lay the car keys down the desk and discard the junk mail after sorting out the bills and notice the trash is full. All right then, I will just put my bills on the desk and take the trash out. But since I am going to be near the mailbox anyway, I will pay the bills now. Where is the checkbook? Oh, there it is but only one check left… OK, the extra checks are in the file cabinet. Next to the file cabinet sits the Coke I was drinking.

I need to get those checks but I am going to put that Coke in the fridge to get it cold again. I head toward the kitchen and see my flowers need some water… I set the Coke on the counter and WOW, there are my glasses, I have been looking for them all morning so I better put them away first.

I fill the container with water and go to water the flowers. Oh no, some one left the TV remote in the kitchen! We will never think of looking in the kitchen when we want to watch TV tonight so I better put it in the living room. Meanwhile on the way into the living room I spill the water. I set the controls in the laundry room and get towels to clean up my spill. I get to the laundry room and see I have a pile of laundry and decide to start the laundry. Realizing I used all the laundry detergent, I realize I need to go to the store. Now where are those car keys?

Is this a disease or normal?

Carry on

What... me run Grandma's again? And Finish?

In 1985, I set a goal and last year I made that goal, well half the goal. I had a goal to run Grandma's and Twin Cities Marathon 25 years in a row. My 13th year at TCM, my entry got chewed up by the postal service and returned to me weeks after the race. Never got entered and quite frankly, the cold and lack of understanding from the TCM staff really upsets me, even today, I always suggest people look at some other friendlier race! Anyway, last year I finished 25 Grandma's. (Click to see the post) I was not ever going to do that race again.

This coupled with my knee surgery last July, my bike accident last July, stress at work and then another surgery in mid-may 2010, I never envisioned I would run Grandma's nor did I want to run it. Although, I am a father first in life and would go the the end of the world for my son. He wanted to run the race and wanted me to join him. I resisted feverishly. He continued to encourage me to consider it. Long story short, I entered.

Before I start the report, it was such a boost to see Wayne Nelson several times on the course... Really kepT me positive... And after seeing Lisa at Lake Street, I felt a wave of confidence. THANKS MUCH YOU TWO!

Well, as I said I would never do again, I started my 26th consecutive Grandma's Marathon. Let me preface by saying since last July, I have logged less than 20 running miles. I have over a 1,200 miles on the bike and another large amount of walking miles, but so little running. I talked all week of there being no chance I would finish...

My son decided to run the first mile with me. A minimally impressive 12 minute mile with a HR of 130. I was pleased with how I felt... Then my son proceeded on his own to a 4:30 finish. I on the other hand, thought a good goal would be first 5 miles in 12:30 a mile or less, the next 5 miles 13 minute or less, and the same pattern to the end. This went well, for 16 miles then I started to feel a blister and cramps. I had been taking S-Caps and knew it was related to fatigue. So I decided, walk. Walk fast!!!

I was surprised I was clicking off 15:00 minutes mile walking but could only muster just over a 14 minute mile running. This was not long lived as every mile miles I dropped 10-15 seconds. By mile 22, I was at a 16 mile but a finish was in reach. I tried to jog but knew that was not a great idea. So I walked, and walked and walked. The miles clipped one after another.

My son came back and met me at mile 24 and I had a full boost of confidence. He stayed with me to Lake Street and then I got a second wind. The last two miles were in the 13-14 range and I FINISHED #26. Coming across the finish line, I cried. I cried because I never in my dreams though I would get past half way. I cried because my own son encouraged me to do the seemingly impossible. I cried because it was over.

I feel almost like I did after 77 miles of the ST 100 in 2007. My feet look the same. I have a baseball sized blister on the right foot and a smaller one on the left. But if that is the price I pay, tonight I am happy! I made my son proud, less than 5 weeks after Surgery that put me out of work for a few weeks. It is a great feeling when you finish something that seemed impossible...

Where does this take me? I do not know as I will have to see what the next two days are like, but I have one big smile on my face tonight, even though my foot is pretty painful!

Carry on my friends! Carry on!

Way to much bed time...

I am a person who does not like to sit still. But since the surgery went well and I am home, I lie down for most of the day. If I get up, in about 20 minutes I am really out of it and have to lie down again. The Doc said I am out for the rest of May for sure, if not longer. The good thing is my vision is not an issue at all and my head is clearer than I recall in a long time. I no longer wake unable to see or confused, which is a great cause for celebration. This does not come without headaches like none I ever experienced, but then Hydrocodone helps...

Already tired so I am going to stop this post.

Until later, Carry on...

Delayed post...

I set this update to post when I am a few hours into a surgery I am having. Been a while since I posted and with good reason reason. I had my epiphany and had two great weeks of working out and then I was so sick... Long story short, a few MRI's and several CT Scans found some pretty significant issues... They could be related to much of what I have complained about of years.

Starting 2007, I have been going to the doctor about every 4 months complaining of many things. I basically had antibiotics every four months for a few years. Vitamin D was low, many chest ex rays from the chest congestion and many other nuisance side effects. Well in January I was going blind in the left eye when I laid down and it took few minutes after I stood up before it cleared up and I could see clearly again. This progressively worsened and in March it was at times a 30 minute effort in the after a nights sleep before I could see in the morning. Many specialists have been trying to figure out what was going on with this ongoing issue. I had an MRI on the head which showed "the worse long term sinus infection" the specialist has ever seen. It had spread to the eye socket and suspected minor infection of the brain as well... He thought it should have been debilitating, but it was not and I did explain I have a tendency just to go through pain, otherwise how could a fat man run 50 plus mile races?

Anyway this untreated (99% closure of all sinuses closed and one fused together) resulted in an infection of the left eye socket from ethmoid sinusitis fused closed. The eyelid had become noticeably swollen and droopy. There is a growth behind the left eye socket which is most likely caused by the infection. Almost thought I had a stroke? They also suspect my mild personality changes, headache, neck stiffness, and visual problems have all been part of the infection which may have spread to the brain. I have been on high doses of anti-biotic (including an IV) which seems to help keep the issues at bay, but not improve. My general physician apologized a few times for missing this all these years and getting to this point when I went to have the pre-op physical. I told him I had headaches and pain, but learned to live with it... The biggest thing is even with this infection, they press on my face and it was a nuisance, but no pain.

Anyway, at the time of this post I should be deep into the surgery to remove the growth, grind some bone and check the membrane behind the eye for any issues, clean out the sinuses and hope the eye works afterward... There will be weeks of recovery and not sure when I will post next. Either way, I hope this is all part of the long term issues I have had with weight, fatigue, stiffness and many another things which are clearly side effects of the problems the surgery is intended to resolve.

On a positive note, my son is here for the summer (well he was here for a few days but will be in Germany for a month then back here for 8 weeks before returning to Colorado. When i went to get him last Tuesday, there was a snowstorm in Denver... We have 70 degree, they have snow. We drove about 20 MPH on the highway as it was so bad!

Well, I wish I could end this by saying I have to go but really, with the delay post option, that will not be true. But it is time to leave for the hospital and I need to publish this post to be published later.

Carry on!

The Epiphany has arrived...

In my last post, I wrote about how I needed an Epiphany. Something unexpected to give me an emotional lift. An emotional drive to enjoy things a little more. I GOT IT IN THE STRANGEST WAY YESTERDAY...

I was Eric's Bike shop getting a rack and saddlebags put on my bike. As I stood there waiting, I looked to my right and thought "I know her" but really had no idea who she was. Another 20 seconds go by, I stared at her again. She was looking at nice road bikes. I knew her but why and from where? I have had some memory issues since my concussion last summer but was never so sure. Another minute goes bye and I look at her again. I just could not place her anywhere in my life.

Then I look more to my right and without hesitation, I exclaimed "O'Neal". He smiled and said "yes". It was O'Neal Hampton from the biggest loser and that girl, was Sunshine. They are in the middle of the home part of the show. I think there they have been home for about 12 weeks and they have about 4 weeks to go? She look so GREAT I did not really know it was her! He has done so well also but she was hard to recognize. Her face showed the cheek bones, not in a bad way but she really has her best features shining through!

We were not allowed to talk about the show but I spoke to O'Neal for about 15 minutes on a variety of topics. I suggested if Sunshine loves to run she join MNDRS and meet for some organized trail runs. I told her about my ultra idol Julie and her love of the show and how she would run any pace with her just for the chance to talk about her experience. I also let her know that veteran trail runners are not overly concerned with pace on every run. We know camaraderie and the joy of getting out on the trails and hoped she would not feel like she is to slow (or to fact) as it is the joy of the run that counts. Afterward I felt bad for not suggesting UMTR. Sunshine, if you read this, also check out UTMR.

What I came away with is O'Neal is more genuine and real as a person in real life than on the show. Really impressed me! To see how far these two have come and then to take the time to speak with me like a friend, WOW. I can not say enough about the positive impact it had on me. I have watched O'Neal with his knees lose so much weight and I bitch about my weight and really do not feel that bad physically. As a result, I ran 3.3 miles in 35 minutes, bikes 28 miles and lifted weights today and according to the computer program, I had a negative calorie intake for the day and feel great.

ATTITUDE... That is the difference. The desired epiphany, it is here. How long it will last, I do not know, but I am going to ride this as along as I can! Nothing like a great Epiphany...

Carry on...

I need an epiphany...

Been a long time between posts but not much to say. Spring has brought me a little more joy and positive outlook. Before I start explaining the title, a little workout update… I am running a little and biking a lot and the legs feel strong with occasional morning soreness but nothing that would be a concern. I have completed several bikes rides over 30 miles each day several times in the past weeks. Things are getting better, but I am looking for a little push in the right direction. I need that Epiphany, like I know we all have had several times in each of our lives…

You know, that time in your life that something strange happens that has a long-term impact on your life. A single momentary act, which has more power than anything we could imagine. An Epiphany… That is what I call it.

Epiphany is defined as “a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience”.

Most people relate to an epiphany as a religious experience. The Western Christian tradition celebrates January 6 as Epiphany. This is by another name in some cultures. In Hispanic or Latin culture, as well in many places in Europe, it is known as Three Kings Day. There are many other religious connotations for Epiphany.

I have had many Epiphanies’ in my life. That first kiss from someone who was out of my league made me feel so much better about myself. That looks in the eyes of a dying person whose life was cut short from a terrible car accident. That last words of wisdom from my 99 year 352 day old grandfather who lived a full rewarding life. Holding my child when he was minutes old… The day I finally understood Quantum Mechanics in College.

In 2006, I met a friend who I consider an Epiphany. I am so grateful to her for opening my eyes to the brighter side of life. She contacted me every single day and made sure I was okay as I was going through a hard physical and emotional time. The way she handled her recent issues of the death of her husband made me stronger. She gave me inspiration to do the things I did not think I could do. It was the jump I needed after several down (negative) years. Our friendship was a bit odd, but nevertheless an epiphany for me.

I had an Epiphany when I was at mile 44 of the Superior 50 mile and it caused me to finish. My post on that race had the following information:

"At 1:57 PM, I was on my way, feeling good. Then came the rocks… I climbed, climbed and climbed. Finally, I felt dizzy, sick and totally spent. I reached the top and laid on the rock and cried. I decided I can not go on, my heart was low. I was going to lie there until someone came and got me. After a few minutes, some rock climbers came and asked if I was OK. I said yes, I need a break and opened my pack and found the 25 notes my girlfriend pasted all over the motel room the night before. That morning, I placed them in the pack in case I needed inspiration. I started to read them. The quotes were such as “It hurts up to a point and then it does not get any worse” from Ann Trason, the Ron Hill quote “get going, get up and walk if you have to, but finish the damned race”, and Robert Frost “The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep”. I thought about my Promise to Dana that “we would finish” the race. I thought of how she died getting in better shape. The at that moment I looked to the sky and the sun hit my face with amazing strength. I felt my heart expand. I felt I was imagining how the Grinch felt as his heart grew… I looked at the rock climbers and said, “I am going to finish this race”. I got up, put the notes in my pack and had an amazing feeling. I started running. I got to the Britton station and I was smiling, laughing and having a good time. 2:31:11. Not bad considering I bawled on the rocks for an undetermined amount of time. I hugged my girlfriend and told her I will finish. I felt like no hand pain, ankle pain or heart pain could stop me."

I call that an epiphany for me!

I really need an epiphany like that now. It is not here but I am sure one day it will hit me. Writing this strange things come back to my mind...

I recall in High School and Sheri Fjelstad had just dumped me. I turned on the radio and I hear Cliff Richard signing “We don’t Talk Anymore”. We never talked again… An Epiphany of another sort. Messages at a strange time. This is a perfect Epiphany that I needed that time of my life. I was reminded that no matter what we do, it is the simple thing that can bring the most happiness or remove sadness.

Then there are just random acts of kindness, which can be epiphanies… These unselfish actions, which make life full rich, beyond what I often, realize. I am sure the opportunity will present itself soon; I just hope I have the kindness and knowledge to grab it.

I am sure that there are many of you who have these special thoughts several times when trying to complete a 100-mile race. I hope to complete a 100 mile rune someday so I can really know if it will give me that elusive epiphany or just nice rewarding pain…

That is all I have to say.

Until I have more to say, or finally get my much needed Epiphany… Carry on my friends!!!