Bleeding Ulcer, SH*%!

It started with me feeling a little run down.  I blamed it on my attempt to get back into shape.  I would push myself hard.  I learned I should lounge and gradually get back into shape, not play like I am in the best shape of my life.   But I lose brain cells as I age and seek the health of a younger me.  This scenario has played out routinely for years now.  I feel run down and blame it on all sorts of circumstances. 

Earlier in the week, after dinner, I went to my room to hide.  My stomach pain was as intense as tears were the result.  It was excruciating! 

So I went to the doctor to get some help.  I have recurring extreme stomach pain and indigestion.  I thought it may be from the OTC sleep medicine and the daily need for ibuprofen to sleep and function.  There is extreme tenderness in the belly.  So, that led to additional examination/testing. 

In the end, it shows that the stool has occult blood, which is the blood that cannot be seen with the naked eye but shows up with a chemical test.  Putting the results together, the doctor told me the fatigue and tiredness were due to bleeding.

He explained that the stomach combines food and digestive juices, and digestion begins.  This is accomplished with a protective lining that protects the stomach from digestive enzymes that can eat away at it.  When the lining is damaged, inflammation and pain occur.  The inflammation worsens until the stomach or the duodenum (the first part of the small intestine) bleeds.

I learned red blood cells carry oxygen to all body organs.  When there are too few red cells, symptoms like fatigue, weakness, lack of energy, shortness of breath, and chest discomfort are standard.  Even lightheadedness may occur when I stand up quickly.  I learned it is because my body can't pump oxygen-carrying red blood cells fast enough to the brain.  It is acceptable in a few seconds as I adapt or sit down.

Long-term inflammation caused a small crater, or ulcer, to form.  I had occasional black tarry stools.  A source of bleeding was found through endoscopy.  They cauterize the blood vessels.  Now, I am to avoid Aspirin and ibuprofen.   I was given lansoprazole to decrease acid secretions in the stomach and allow it to heal.   I will see the result now, as I do not feel better today.  One day at a time. 

I know diet plays a vital role in treating a bleeding ulcer.  Nutrients and foods that should be included in a diet are:

• Vitamin A: Apricots, cheese, carrots, cantaloupe, eggs, spinach, mangoes, sweet potato, and milk
• Vitamin C: Mangoes, peas, melons, beans, oranges, cabbage, milk, berries, potatoes, yogurt, lemons, pork, beef, liver, mussels and chicken.
• Vitamin E: Spinach and other leafy greens, Egg yolk, peanuts, mangoes and kiwis.
• Zinc: Dairy products, peas and oranges

My foods to avoid are:

• Pepper
• Chili
• Caffeine
• Fried and oily food
• Chocolate

Let's see if I am intelligent and disciplined enough to conquer this pain.

Carry on, my friends, carry on…

No 31st Grandmas? Depressing?

I am thinking there will not be a 31^st consecutive Grandma’s Marathon?  I have 30 years in a row of finishing, and I am tired.  I have no motivation to even try for 31, and I am in the worst shape of my entire life.  My heart issues and high stress are also making life difficult.  Does anyone ever notice that when one feels bad about him or herself, those close to you are often critical and make you feel worse?  It could be I am hearing the words of support as criticism.

 

There is a story I heard today.  It was impacting and made me think of a few things in life.  It was a teacher speaking to his middle school class.

She explained that a cruise ship had an accident at sea.  On board were a couple who, after reaching the lifeboat, realized there was only space left.  No way could both be saved.

At that moment, the man pushed the woman aside and jumped into the lifeboat to save himself.  The wife stood on the sinking cruise ship and shouted only one sentence to her husband.  The teacher asked the class, “What do you think she shouted?”

Answers such as “I hate you” and” Why are you doing this to me?” “Please don’t leave me,” etc.…  Throughout the angry sentences, a quiet boy was in the back of the room.  The teacher quieted the class to get the silent young man’s attention and answer her.  He replied, “Take care of our child.” 

The teacher looked surprised and said, “Have you heard this story before?” He replied, “No, that is what my momma said to my dad before she died from a disease.”

The teacher said he was right.  The man went home and raised their daughter.   It turned out that the cruise was the last vacation for the mother, who was dying of a terminal illness.  The father wrote in his diary,” How I wished I could have sank to the bottom with you, but for the sake of our daughter, I could only let you live and die alone in the sea.”

The moral?  Through all the good and evil in this world, many complications are behind them, which are hard to understand.  This is why we should only focus on the surface and judge others after understanding everything first.

Those who like to pay the bill when out for dinner do so not because they are loaded but because they value friendship more than money.

Those willing to help you do so not because they owe you anything but because they see you as a true friend.

Those who text you do so not because they have nothing better to do but because you are in their heart.

It made me think about the number one criticism I get from most of my close friends and loved ones about my dedication to my job.  Those who take initiative at work do so not because they are stupid but because they understand the concept of responsibility.  I was raised with an extreme sense of responsibility. 

I often wonder if my sense of responsibility works for me or against me in achieving my goals. Being responsible is essential to life, but the degree of responsibility gets in my way. I have lost who I am and what I have to contribute and experience in this world.

I fear the unknown.  As a result, I remain on the dead-end path and fail to try anything new.  I have a history of exercising to exhaustion, becoming a workaholic, overdosing on fiber, vitamins, and caffeine, and excessively worrying.  I am emotionally down on myself about possible neglect of my heart, mind, body, and soul.

I still search for harmony between my heart, intuition, body, and mind.  I will keep searching, but I will lose hope, and I will find peace and emotional stability.

Carry on my friends…

Stress and retirement may equal death?

This blog sounds like a broken record.  My high-stress job is killing me, and I just can’t stop the downfall.  I try to use various methods to reduce stress, yet it just seems to pile on with no end.  I am greatly concerned about the impact on my health and lifespan for a while.  I have six of the nine effects listed below!

On Sunday, I discovered the man who hired me and mentored me in the profession died of a massive heart attack.  He, like me, carried the job on or in every part of the body.  He lived and breathed his job.  He really enjoyed retirement, and it was like he had a new life!  He had been retired for five years and had little stress in retirement, yet a heart attack killed him.

I have complained to the Doctor on several occasions about my chest pain and my tingle in the arm.  Well, not a tingle, but the occasional lightning bolt that goes from the shoulder and out the fingers.   The Doctor runs tests, and the results are no reason for great concern.  Just monitor the heart issues.   Yet I still feel like death is soon upon me.   I really have a great fear of dying from stress.

I have said it before; there are some steps I can take to prevent my job from getting worse. I have known for years that I should eat better and exercise regularly. I also know a few things about decreasing job stress and increasing my life span. But do I do them? No. I am working 65-hour weeks and am near burnout, which is about to worsen.

One thing I miss is my wingman (really wing women).  When I am under pressure, a wingman helps me overcome obstacles, reducing my stress.  Lt. Col. Rob “Waldo” Waldman, a decorated combat fighter pilot for the Air Force and the author of “Never Fly Solo,” said, “Teamwork and trust are critical for thwarting the missiles of fear, change, and risk that too often send even the most seasoned professional into a downward spiral.” My last great wingman (woman) was Dana.  Life has not been the same since she died!  I am alone and have no allies at work or in life.

It’s like being alone at night during a 100-mile run.  You can’t quit, as that could kill you as well.

Carry on, my friends, Carry on...