I need an epiphany...

Been a long time between posts, but only a little to say. Spring has brought me a little more joy and a positive outlook. Before I start explaining the title, a minor workout update… I am running a little and biking a lot, and the legs feel strong with occasional morning soreness, but nothing that would be a concern. I have completed several bike rides over 30 miles daily in the past weeks. Things are improving, but I am looking for a little push in the right direction. I need that Epiphany, like I know we all have had several times in each of our lives…

You know, that time in your life that something strange happens that has a long-term impact on your life. A single momentary act that has more power than anything we could imagine. An Epiphany… That is what I call it.

Epiphany is defined as "a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience."

Most people relate to an epiphany as a religious experience. The Western Christian tradition celebrates January 6 as Epiphany. However, this is also known by another name in some cultures. In Hispanic or Latin culture, as well as in many places in Europe, it is known as Three Kings Day. There are many other religious connotations for Epiphany.

I have had many Epiphanies in my life. That first kiss from someone out of my league made me feel so much better about myself. That look in the eyes of a dying person whose life was cut short by a terrible car accident. Those last words of wisdom from my 99-year-352-day-old grandfather, who lived a full, rewarding life. Holding my child when he was minutes old... the day I finally understood Quantum Mechanics in College.

In 2006, I met a friend who I consider an Epiphany. I am so grateful to her for opening my eyes to the brighter side of life. She contacted me every single day and made sure I was OK as I was going through a hard physical and emotional time. The way she handled her recent issues of the death of her husband made me stronger. She inspired me to do the things I did not think I could do. It was the jump I needed after several down (negative) years. Our friendship was odd, but nevertheless an epiphany for me.

I had an Epiphany when I was at mile 44 of the Superior 50 mile, and it caused me to finish. My post on that race had the following information:

"At 1:57 PM, I was on my way, feeling good. Then came the rocks… I climbed, climbed, and climbed. Finally, I felt dizzy, sick, and totally spent. I reached the top and lay on the rock and cried. I decided I can not go on, my heart was low. I was going to lie there until someone came and got me. After a few minutes, some rock climbers asked if I was OK. I said yes, I needed a break, opened my pack, and found the 25 notes my girlfriend passed all over the motel room the night before. I placed them in the pack that morning in case I needed inspiration. I started to read them. The quotes were such as "It hurts up to a point, and then it does not get any worse" from Ann Trason, the Ron Hill quote, "Get going, get up and walk if you have to, but finish the damned race," and Robert Frost "The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep." I thought about my Promise to Dana that "we would finish" the race. I thought of how she died getting in better shape. At that moment, I looked at the sky, and the sun hit my face with amazing strength. I felt my heart expand. I felt I was imagining how the Grinch felt as his heart grew… I looked at the rock climbers and said, "I am going to finish this race." I got up, put the notes in my pack, and felt amazing. I started running. I got to the Britton station, smiling, laughing, and having a good time. 2:31:11. Not bad considering I bawled on the rocks for an undetermined amount of time. I hugged my girlfriend and told her I would finish. I felt like no hand pain, ankle pain, or heart pain could stop me."

I call that an epiphany for me!

I really need an epiphany like that now. It is not here, but I am sure it will hit me one day. Writing these strange things has come back to my mind...

I recall in High School, when Sheri Fjelstad had just dumped me. I turned on the radio and heard Cliff Richard singing, "We Don't Talk Anymore." We never talked again… an epiphany of another sort, messages at a strange time. This was the perfect Epiphany that I needed at that time. I was reminded that no matter what we do, simple things can bring us happiness or remove sadness.

Then there are random acts of kindness, which can be epiphanies… These unselfish actions make life full and rich beyond what I often realize. I am sure the opportunity will present itself soon; I hope I have the kindness and knowledge to grab it.

I am sure that many of you have had these special thoughts several times when trying to complete a 100-mile race. I hope to complete a 100-mile run someday to know if it will give me that elusive Epiphany or just nice, rewarding pain…

That is all I have to say.

Until I have more to say or finally get my much-needed Epiphany… Carry on, my friends!!!