Purpose?

As my girlfriend’s daughter turned a quarter of a century old yesterday, my son nearly 26 years old, and a new baby (my girlfriend’s grandchild) is now sharing her cuteness, I sit here and think, “What happens to our bodies as we age is no fun.” Depending on your lifestyle, things can really start falling apart physically after only 30 or 35. Next thing you know, you’re staring down the barrel of the Big Five. “Oh, No.”

I have been reading more than ever and even considered consulting some “experts” and people over 50 I admire. I wonder if it is possible to get into the best shape of one’s life after 50, and should I even try?

I read about Tony Horton, of P90X and 10-Minute Trainer fame, who is 57. He believes getting into the best shape of your life is possible if you’re over fifty, depending on your star. If you have spent much of your life being inactive, you can.  If you were an Olympic athlete, the answer is no.  

I know the logic and what I need to do, but I do not apply myself.  A recent study published in the American Journal of Medicine found that the higher your muscle mass index is, the more likely you’ll live longer!

My big issue is sustaining motivation and discipline.  I need to improve in several ways. 

• I lack purpose.  I feel anxious about life.  I wonder if I feel empty or disillusioned in a late midlife crisis.  I claim insufficient time for self-care or to discover a new direction.  I have been questioning my identity in my relationships. I crave direction and want to feel grounded again. I have anxiety, headaches, insomnia, low mood, and irritability.
• I have been searching for a map or compass to help guide me through to a clearing.  I can’t find it!
• In my professional life, I plan all day.  In my personal life, I can’t plan.  I really need to make an appointment and complete the meeting for health.
• I have no one to hold me accountable, which is a big issue. It is easy to improve when you have someone to hold you accountable and help you through the lows.
• I need to prioritize fitness, like eating, breathing, and sleeping.
• I need variety, as overworking the same muscles constantly is a prescription for injuries.  I don’t heal like we did when I was 25.
• I need to accept it will take longer to make muscle and to lose body fat.  Those who know me know I am not patient. 

All in all, I need to get my ass out of this slump.  I may seek outside help as I continue to fail on my own.  Just after 50, I am tired and unsure I want to work that hard, even when I know the benefits.

Looking back, this was all easier when I had that good friend to help me. Well, we helped each other along. I lost one friend through marriage. The other great friend died in 2006, and I am not sure I have ever recovered from that loss. Either way, I still need more motivation and purpose. May my search result in success? I know one thing for sure: If I search long enough, it will surely show up!

Carry on my friends…