I had a heart-to-heart talk with an old friend today. The last time I saw him was shortly
after his 17-year-old son committed suicide last summer. He had worn so much the past year. I could tell the hurt is something he
still deals with each day. He said it is a painful way to live when he gets up, gets home from work, and goes to bed.
As stated in the previous posts, I have been troubled about
those who have taken their own life.
This is heavy on my mind as I met old friends, which happened
again last week. Another increase
in the number of people I know who have experienced a loved one ending their
own life.
He was pushing the suicide subject into our
conversation. I think he is still
searching for an answer? He talked
much about his son. One statement
he made really confused me. I
spent so much time thinking about that single statement. It was, "Why is it when you have nothing
to live for? You have so much inner strength, but when you have everything to
live for, you want to die". What
did he mean? Will I ever understand?
I did not ask him to explain, but I understood his meaning. I recall when
I was flat broke and needed to provide for my family. I felt all I did in life was work, work again, care for
my child, and sleep between activities. I never once felt lonely and underappreciated. My life is totally different, with
very few responsibilities outside work and no issues with money. Yet I feel such a void with a lack of
purpose. If that's what he means,
I understand.
On a positive note, my girlfriend, who had to put her
beloved dog down in November, has decided to get a new puppy. A purebred Golden Retriever from
Rolling Oaks Goldens. We went to
do a visit today in preparation for picking up the puppy on April 17. Pictures below:
In addition to seeing the puppies, I learned of a powerful human being, a mother. She has had her share of twists and turns, yet continues with a positive spirit. She wrote a book. It is about a two-fold story of her life, the trials of tragedy, the joys of love and family, the strengthening of faith, and how all of that prepared her for the gift of Amy, her youngest daughter of 6, who has Down syndrome. The story is meant to encourage mothers, family, and friends of special needs people. It has a Christian perspective theme throughout the entire work. It is called "Chosen For This Gift: My Story of Hope, Survival and Raising a Child with Special Needs." Consider it a book to read. Very heartfelt, and you will certainly feel her pain and unique way of finding joy, even when giving up seems like the only choice.
Hopefully, I will get a copy of the book signed by my friend. In a time of confusion, anything this good should help, even if there are no answers for suicide anywhere.
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