At one time, about six years ago, I
would get to the point where, on Sunday afternoons, I started to think about Monday being
only a day away. This was after
having a wonderful Saturday of enjoying the outdoors and not thinking of work. I enjoyed the weekend as a way of
breaking up the weeks. The office
had a total staff of nine professional staff and two administrative staff. Then, the economy turned, and slowly, people
left their positions. As the
economy turned, we only had a few reasons to stay fully staffed.
Then, in 2012, we could return
to seven staff and two administrative positions. Overall, we were in two positions (almost 20% less) than
when things were in full swing in 2006. In 2013, the economy started flying, and the workload was higher than
ever. We had three long-term staff
leave after 2010, and we filled the positions with new talented professionals
who needed significant training. As a result, I started working weekends.
I would track my working hours and
divide it by the number of weeks. If I took a vacation week, I would have zero hours worked but still put
that week as one when dividing the total. In 2012, my average workweek was just over 74 hours, although that
included my tennis work. In 2013,
I no longer completed tennis work; the average decreased to 60 hours a
week. In 2014, I managed to get
that to 55 hours a week. So far, in
2015, my average is 53 hours a week. Recall, this is the actual average of hours per week, regardless if I was
on vacation. I have taken 6 days of vacation so far this year for surgery and one for heart-related issues.
In 2013, I started working every
other weekend. I lost
track of the days of the week. I no
longer felt stressed when the weekend ended, as it never started. In 2014, I had 19 of 104
Saturdays and Sundays off. This sounds
crazy and embarrassing to admit. What good is that high-paying job if it is killing me from
within? What do I mean?
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| Even if I hate my job, I remind myself that many are happy I get the job done! |
My
job is a constant warrior fighting against my desires. My mind is in prison on the job. Is employee development
a lost art, and robot training is the norm? Employers care less and less about your personal
growth and concerns. Employers
want to put their best foot forward to get you in the door and sometimes will
even stretch the truth a little. Then
we found there was too much “real work” to be done, and the only time available
to work on projects I enjoyed was on my own time.
My employer means well, but
they must improve by throttling the workload for an understaffed team. They have yet to learn what we
accomplish every day. Then, there are the
dreaded closed-door sessions to which only the top brass are invited—top brass appearing to keep secrets.
Today, a very vital part of my team
resigned. I dread this and
anticipate I will soon be back to 72-hour (or more) weeks. I already feel half-dead and worn from
several years of high stress and higher-than-possible expectations. I am not sure what to do, but I have been able to finish 30 consecutive Grandma’s Marathons because I do
not quit. People say that attitude
will kill me. For the first time
in my life, I believe this may be true, but I am too stubborn and stupid to
think any differently. Is any job
or self-pride in a job worth it? I
am unsure, but we are so pushed beyond the limits I do not have time to think
about it. Can a job really kill me?
2 comments:
Londell, I can really relate to this post, though I never put in that many hours per week(reverted from salaried to hourly before it became inevitable).
I left the job as it was truly making me a miserable human being unable to enjoy much in life. I left behind some wonderful colleagues and work that, even when challenging, I enjoyed.
When I started my previous job there were 6 RN's between our two clinic sites (3 FTE/3 PT). Over the past three years, despite increased client numbers and the shifting of work duties to add tasks previously done by other staff to our workload, that number had decreased to two (1 FTE and 1 PT; plus one administrative person with her RN degree who rarely assisted in the day to day work).
There seems to be a real disconnect between those who make the hiring and firing decisions and those who actually perform the work that keeps the organization running day to day. Results: those of us with a deep sense of responsibility and pride in our work end up compromising our health and well-being to try to get it all done.
I chose to cut my losses.
First rule of ultras: "Do nothing fatal" could also be applied to our work life.
Lisa, all so true. I really need to take your wise comment to heart!
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