Friday, November 27, 2015

It is that time again...

If you read this blog, you may have come across my typical late November post about what I want for Christmas. I list several things, and typically, each year, I would get one or two. Then, one week before Christmas, I would edit the post and remove the items. Some think that is mean, others never knew it was there, while some think I should just tell them what I want. But why is Christmas so focused on GIFTS?

It is easier to imagine celebrating Christmas in the modern world if you think about giving gifts. But, have you ever thought to yourself, “Why do we give gifts at Christmas?” In some ways, the tradition of giving gifts at Christmas is a very ancient tradition. In other ways, giving gifts at Christmas is a relatively new development.


In the Christian religion, the practice of giving gifts at Christmas is traced back to the gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh that were given to the Christ child. The three Magi were kings from the East, wise men who traveled a great distance following a star to find the Christ child and bring him gifts. The visit of the Magi to the Christ child was originally celebrated on the Feast of Epiphany on January 6th. 


Over time, the tradition of giving gifts became more associated with Christmas than with Epiphany. In the Church calendar, the period from Christmas to Epiphany—from December 25th through January 6th—is recognized as the “twelve days of Christmas” from the old Christmas carol.


Indeed, the ancient Church did not “celebrate” Christmas as much as it “observed” Christmas as a holy day. It wasn’t until the modern era that gift-giving to loved ones at Christmas became increasingly popular as the Middle Ages ended and the modern era began. Various countries and people began to make gift-giving a regular part of the holy day (later combined to create a “holiday”) over a period of time. By the time the Americas were settled, giving gifts at Christmas was practiced by many of the settlers. The early Dutch settlers to America introduced St. Nicholas, or Santa Claus, to the new world. In contrast, the early French and English colonists were more likely to give gifts at New Year’s or Epiphany.


Ultimately, a common Christmas culture developed in which gifts were given on Christmas. In the nineteenth century, the idea of gift-giving took on a new dimension, as the works of O. Henry, Charles Dickens, and Thomas Nast helped shape our concepts of Santa Claus and other aspects of the holiday.


Today, we all give gifts at Christmas for our own reasons. For some, it is a way to celebrate the Christian holy day. For others, it is a special time to let family and friends know you care by giving gifts. At times, giving gifts at Christmas becomes almost mechanical and a chore; when this happens, it is worth stepping aside for a few moments to consider why you give gifts at Christmas.


I started seeing the real meaning of Christmas lately in the actions of my girlfriend’s daughter. I watch her work hard to make a few gifts that have true meaning. I hope those who receive those gifts understand how special they are as they are from the heart. Not just putting down each and wrapping them. I am not sure she will ever know how my heart expanded seeing her create the gift, not just purchase and wrap the gift. If I am present on the day these are opened by the receiver, it will be hard to hold back a tear of happiness and joy as I believe she has captured the true meaning of Christmas!


So I ask, what good is it to tell someone what you want for Christmas? Where does that leave you? Christmas is not about gifts but sharing human love and friendship. When the gift is truest from the heart, as described in the paragraph above, we see the true meaning of Christmas (in my opinion). 


Each year, I am more troubled about this tradition. Last year, I added nothing to the “list” as I wanted Christmas to be the emotional time with humans, not gifts. This year, I already purchased three things I wanted (the price was to marry to pass up). This year, I will add a few things one could buy to this list, although I would prefer some of the human activities I mention first:
  • In February, I had a friend who was a victim of an abusive relationship call me scared. When she called me, and I picked her up with blood on her face, I took her to the battered women’s shelter. I did not know what else to do? I saw her a few weeks ago, and she is still emotionally down but doing so much better. If you want to purchase a gift for me, donate to http://www.bwlap.org/donations. 
  • People should smile as they help an elderly neighbor shovel the driveway.
  • Now, this is a bizarre item. Well, not really for some, but I find listing this item odd because of the author. Some background may help. You see, one thing that helps one get through a divorce is seeing that the departed one is truly happy and better off than with you. That also stings a little, but understanding reality is not my weakness. My ex-wife seems much happier, and I am so glad about that. She married a very talented nature photographer. He wrote a book that is a GREAT READ. It seems better than Tony Northrop and Scott Kelby’s books. The book can be found here!


Finally, I hope someone so dear to my heart gets their wish. Relationship problems have been a real downer and hard to handle. It is always hard when a long-term relationship ends and one person coldly turns away like you never existed. I want nothing more for that individual to find peace and understanding when there is no answer to be found.

Basically, from the start of this post to my last thing on the list, you know I would be happiest and have the greatest gift if you were kind to everyone you meet and yourself.

Carry on, my friends, carry on...



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