I am thinking there will not be a 31st consecutive
Grandma’s Marathon? I have 30
years in a row of finishing, and I am tired. I have no motivation to even try for 31, and I am in the worst shape
of my entire life. My heart issues
and high stress are also making life difficult. Does anyone ever notice that when one feels bad about him or herself,
those close to you are often critical and make you feel worse? It could be I am hearing the words of
support as criticism.
There is a story I heard today. It was impacting and made me think of a few things in
life. It was a teacher speaking to
his middle school class.
She explained that a cruise ship had an
accident at sea. On board were a couple who, after reaching the lifeboat, realized there was only space left. No way could both be saved.
At that moment, the man pushed the woman aside and jumped
into the lifeboat to save himself. The wife stood on the sinking cruise ship and shouted only one sentence
to her husband. The teacher asked
the class, “What do you think she shouted?”
Answers such as “I hate you” and” Why are you doing this to me?”
“Please don’t leave me,” etc.… Throughout
the angry sentences, a quiet boy was in the back of the
room. The teacher quieted the
class to get the silent young man’s attention and answer her. He replied, “Take care of our child.”
The teacher looked surprised and said, “Have you heard
this story before?” He replied, “No, that is what my momma said to my dad
before she died from a disease.”
The teacher said he was right. The man went home and raised their daughter. It turned out that the cruise was the last
vacation for the mother, who was dying of a terminal illness. The father wrote in his diary,” How I
wished I could have sank to the bottom with you, but for the sake of our
daughter, I could only let you live and die alone in the sea.”
The moral? Through all the good and evil in this world, many complications are behind them, which are hard to understand. This is why we should only focus on
the surface and judge others after understanding everything first.
Those who like to pay the bill when out for dinner do
so not because they are loaded but because they value friendship more than
money.
Those willing to help you do so not because they
owe you anything but because they see you as a true friend.
Those who text you do so not because they have nothing
better to do but because you are in their heart.
It made me think about the number one criticism I get from
most of my close friends and loved ones about my dedication to my job. Those who take initiative at
work do so not because they are stupid but because they understand the concept
of responsibility. I was raised
with an extreme sense of responsibility.
I often wonder if my sense of responsibility works for me or against me in achieving my goals. Being responsible is essential to life, but the degree of
responsibility gets in my way. I have lost who I am and what I have to contribute and
experience in this world.
I fear the unknown. As a result, I remain on the dead-end path and fail to try
anything new. I have a history of
exercising to exhaustion, becoming a workaholic, overdosing on fiber, vitamins, and caffeine, and excessively worrying. I am emotionally down on myself about possible neglect of my heart, mind,
body, and soul.
I still search for harmony between my heart, intuition,
body, and mind. I will keep searching, but I will lose hope, and I
will find peace and emotional stability.
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