This evening, I watched Robin Williams's last film, " The Angriest Man in Brooklyn." It really hit me in many ways,
especially since he died at the end. It reminded me of John Wayne succumbing to death in his last movie. However, one thing that struck me was the
workaholic, irate man portrayed by Robin Williams. I also know workaholics are generally
angry old bastards no one cares about. Then, I recalled what my grandfather would say about my workaholic life.
On the seventh day, even God rested.
As a workaholic, the day of rest
never comes. I generally log nearly 60-hour weeks, then come home to more work. There is always one more email to read, one more phone call
to take, and one more critically important trip to the office that can't wait until
Monday. Weekends? Holidays? Family? As the
uber-workaholic Ebenezer Scrooge put it, "Bah, humbug!"
I rarely go on vacation without my
laptop or total electronic access. I answer emails at all hours and even return phone calls expecting to get a voicemail. It was 2:00 AM when I was at the office
returning a call, and an architect who has a home office answered. We dealt with the questions!
I've often struggled with the evening and
weekend issues, trying to figure out why I absolutely have to work. It is
ingrained in me to the point of being a kind of addiction -- like going to the
health club every day. If I miss one day, I feel awful.
Whether I'm reading a self-help book
on how to be more productive or better manage my PDA while waiting
in the deli line, checking email on my phone as soon as my date makes for the
ladies' room, or heading back to my computer each commercial break, I'm continuously
checking something. It's worsened because it hasn't let up, and I feel more compelled to
be busy.
It is so easy to satisfy my cravings with cell phones, Pads, laptops, and
WiFi, which ensure that work need never be out of reach. Although blaming technology for my
workaholism is like blaming the supermarket for food addiction or the corner
liquor store for alcoholism. The
preoccupation with work is really at the core of workaholism.
I think workaholism is remarkably
similar to alcoholism. Just as an
alcoholic will hide bottles around the house and drink furtively, workaholics
try to sneak into work when they think no one is looking.
Some clear signs of my issue include
my trouble delegating work, neglecting other aspects of my life, and
incorporating different aspects of life into work by trying to turn a hobby into a
business.
While I know I should be the ideal
employee—one who comes in early, stays late,
doesn't take vacations, and takes on mountains of work—more often
than not, I fail to handle the work effectively and become disorganized. I fail to recognize that I need the time off
to recharge when my work performance is affected.
I am afraid to take
vacations because I fear that, with all the downsizing and the economy, I might not have a job when I return.
I fully understand workaholism has health
consequences, including significantly higher work-related stress and job
burn-out rates, anger, depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic symptoms such as
stomachaches and headaches. This
past month, my stomach has been more painful than anytime I can recall in my
life. I have heart
palpitations and racing out of the blue.
Despite these symptoms, I am in deep denial.
How do I stop this? I can't go cold turkey or quit my
job. Some suggest seeking
information, but that is a vicious
cycle. Let me read about reducing work by adding work. Let me add to my already busy schedule
to help me with my busy schedule.
No real answers without making the
problems worse? Although, things
always get worse before they get better.
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