Is Father's Day a lunch, a pair of socks, a tie, or a comical card about the old man's age? Commercialism will tell us it is all of the above and more if they could sell it to us. It is like Christmas sometimes with an effort, and mostly at the last minute, to buy that little something to show our appreciation.
The father's role is not easy; I know that well. I have a son and had a daughter. We fathers often give the attitude of a hard exterior and pretend nothing really bothers us much because, as a dad, that is expected. We are the foundation and cornerstone of the family, whether we like it or not, and we should never delegate that role to another. I have let a family fail and delegated fatherhood to another…
As a father, I often hurt more than many will ever know. I can be good at hiding it, but often, it comes out as anger. I anger myself for failing each time I believe I fail. Then, we try our best to compensate for those failures, and it seems life repeats itself. One difference between my father and myself is that I tried. I'm not sure how well either of us succeeded.
Am I the perfect father? Far from it! As I said, I did not have a very good role model to draw from, and so often, I was simply trying to do what I believed my father should have done for me. A bad father does not fail now and again; the bad fathers are the ones who fail to try.
I have never needed to purchase a Father's Day card or take a loving old man to lunch and watch him take pleasure in the ones who loved him sitting around a table celebrating the day with him. If you had that privilege this Father's Day, you are very blessed; many never had and will never have that day.
I quit celebrating Father's Day the day my Grandfather died. He was the best, well, only father I recall having. I have no idea how my father did not learn from him. They were polar opposites. They say that happens. When you are not happy with your upbringing, you do the opposite.
My father grew up poor and was high on people knowing his success in his chosen field. But that was a Grandfather
However, I still wonder if I did a good job. My son is so much like me, except for his anger toward his father. He treats Father's Day just like any other day. It is because he makes me feel like it's Father's Day 335 days a year. (I know there are 365 days, but even we have an occasional issue.)
But I know that as a father, I have succeeded and failed. It is too late to change that. I only hope that if my son becomes a father, he will take the time to learn more about that important job than those before him. No matter what a father or mother decides when raising a child, there is never a right answer, as each child is different.
With that, Happy Father's Day, Grandpa. I miss you so much; you have been gone for over 15 years!
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