Youth Sports

TRAGIC… This weekend, I heard of the Kasandra M. Perkins and Jovan Belcher tragedy… It appears they had great future potential, he had great income from a sport, and they had a three-month-old child yet, but what caused his actions? We may never know, but I wonder if it could have started at youth sports.

I recently read a few articles on bounties in Pop Warner Football.  Link 1, Link 2, Link 3, and you could find many more…  (Link 3 is the most disheartening!)

I also recently read Play Their Hearts Out: A Coach, His Star Recruit, and the Youth Basketball Machine by George Dohrmann.  I read this after reading the Minnesota Amateur Sports Commission survey results, which stated:

• 45.3% of youth leaguers said that adults had called them names, yelled at them, or insulted them while playing a game.
• 21% said that they had been pressured to play with an injury.
• 17.5% said that an adult had hit, kicked, or slapped them during a game
• 8.2% said that they had been pressured to harm others intentionally. 

A USA survey poll in Indianapolis, Indiana, found:

• 55% of parents said that they had seen other parents engaging in verbal abuse at youth sporting events.
• 21% said that they had seen a physical altercation between other parents.

A survey conducted by Sports Illustrated For Kids magazine found:

• 74% of youth athletes reported that they had watched out-of-control adults at their games
• 37% of the athletes had watched parents yelling at children
• 27% had watched parents yelling at coaches or officials
• 25% had watched coaches yelling at officials or children
• 4% had watched violence by adults

In a survey of adults and players conducted by SportingKid magazine, more than 84% of respondents reported that they had watched parents acting violently (shouting, berating, or using abusive language) toward children, coaches, or officials during youth sporting events.

DO YOU REALIZE THAT EVEN WORSE CASE ABOVE? Just under 5 of 10 youth sports players have experienced verbal abuse.  The sad part is most of these abuse episodes are not reported.  I am guilty of not reporting incidents like these, as well.

A day I will never forget is February 21, 2002.  It was a Friday, and I was at a tennis tournament.  I saw a nice 14-year-old boy come off the court, winning in straight sets 6-0, 6-1.  I was near a secluded hallway away from most people (trying to find a lost ball).  Just one other person was coming off the court in that hallway besides the winning boy.  What I saw was the man (the boy's father) grab the boy's shirt, push the boy to the wall with his forearm across his throat, and say (and I am close to quoting):

"You little Sh#@, I do not spend over $20,000 a year for you to come out here and lose a game to a no-name F&@k.  Get your head out, you're a$^, or you're through!  You got it!"  

He let the boy down from his grasp against the wall, and they walked past me. The boy was in tears. Years later, I saw that same parent say, "Your day is coming," to an official after his son lost an officiated match. 

That is one of many things I regret in life.  I should have told the authorities.  I did not.

In sports, whether running an ultra, golf, tennis, baseball, football, soccer or croquet, etc… it's usually the competition (us against them, me against you, or even me against me) that drives participants.  Often, the battle goes beyond the participant, becoming coaches, peers, or parents.

Over the past thirty years, I have had the opportunity to be the best and the worst coach, player, and parent. Although I had my chances, I failed to be the best or worst in any of these. Some were good, and some were bad, but I learned quite a bit about kids.

I do not blame any one part; I blame normal human behaviors.  Whether it is little league sports, played in small rural towns, or professional sports, played in the limelight of New York City, there are inherent benefits to being the champions, the best of the best.  Obviously, personal pride in achievement and praise of your peers is the first undeniable benefit resulting from being the best. Championship youth sports teams or athletes often suddenly become inundated with sponsors offering to buy uniforms and equipment, some of whom flatly refuse to consider financial help when approached at the beginning of the season.

I had heard of ultra-runners who, after an impressive time or win, were given shoes, clothes, supplies, etc. Before they won, they had little opportunity for anything free unless they picked it off the table at the expo… It is ingrained starting at a very young age: You win, you get something; you lose, you get nothing. I support the idea that there should be no trophies for youth sports under 12.  

I think society has become one where everything is a game. A game of "who dies with the most toys or wins" has inflicted our society like a cancer that shows no signs of receding. It has destroyed financial empires and governments and left us without a moral compass.

Isn't this getting a little too involved, too deep for sport? What could sports possibly change in a world gone ethically awry? Possibly everything.

It goes back to youth. Our youth are exposed to the seriousness of sports before anything else in their lives. Think about it. Kids play, or at least play at, baseball, football, soccer, marbles, kickball, and other sports long before they take educational school seriously. They emulate the players they see on television, not their teachers, and that's not to belittle a teacher's importance; it's just a fact.

Fortunately, Kids are too young to comprehend the evils committed on Wall Street, such as Ponzi schemes, foreclosures, corrupt politicians, performance-enhancing drugs, or spying on a team's practice, but they are old enough and smart enough to learn how to play a game "Fair." They need the proper coaches, parents, and community to support the enjoyment of a game, not the "win or you're a loser" attitude. 

So, as I stated, I recently read Play Their Hearts Out A Coach, His Star Recruit, and the Youth Basketball Machine by George Dohrmann.  I read of the Pop Warner Youth Football bounties and Jevons Belcher murder-suicide.  I can't help but wonder, how many of society's issues are caused by youth sports?  People blame the schools, but if almost 5 of 10 youth sports participants experience verbal abuse, how can that help self-esteem? 

Youth sports require monitoring with as much scrutiny as our classrooms.  But society is generally focused on winning, and one thing we do not micromanage is youth sports or the military… This needs to stop!  I believe a coach can destroy a life in a single season.  Penalties need to be increased.  But that seems more and more like a dream to me…

Carry on my friends… Carry on…