I am 46 today..some jokes... Stolen words

You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends and begun growing in the middle.

You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker, and you can't get it started.

You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down.

NOW WORDS FROM MY favorite comedian...

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're under 10, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, and now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

The greatest day of your life is when you turn 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony: YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

Now you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes. It's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50, and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You make it to 60. You didn't think you would!! So you become 21, turn 30, push 40, reach 50, and make it to 60. 

You've built up so much speed that you hit 70! After that, it's a day-by-day thing; you hit Wednesday!

You get into your 80s, and every day is a complete cycle: You hit lunch, you hit 4:30 PM, and you reach bedtime. And it doesn't end there. 

Into the 90s, you start going backward; "I Was JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. 

If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

GEORGE CARLIN

Happy 46th Birthday to me!

Carry on…