I am near job burnout. I have tried and worked 70-hour weeks, but I am ready to throw up my arms and work a 40-45-hour week, and people will just have to wait. These past several months have been a special type of job stress—a state of physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion combined with doubts about my competence and the value of my work.
Have you become cynical or critical at work? I drag myself to work and have trouble getting started once I arrive. I am becoming irritable or impatient with co-workers, customers, or clients. I have low energy. I need more satisfaction from my achievements. I have terrible sleep habits. I am troubled by unexplained headaches, backaches, or other physical complaints.
I have a total lack of control. I am unable to influence decisions that affect my job, such as your schedule, assignments, or workload. We have a significant lack of the resources you need to do your work. Work takes up so much time and effort that I don't have the energy to spend time with my family and friends.
Yes, I identify so strongly with work that I lack a reasonable balance between my work and personal life, and I need to stop trying to be everything to everyone.
So, the consequences I feel fully are excessive stress, fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, and obesity, which all lead to high stroke potential. I need to pull my head out of my ass before it kills me!
It is over! There will be no 31st consecutive Grandma's Marathon finish. There are a few reasons for this decision.
- First, the forecast is severe thunderstorms; at 52 years old, I do not need to spend 6 hours trying to finish a marathon in poor weather.
- Second, I have had severe ankle pain since last fall and even spent time in physical therapy, which heeled me for a while.
- Lastly, my health. As I had written on May 29, the Doctor discovered a bleeding ulcer. While I have tried to gain an advantage and improve my health, I have yet to be successful. I decided to have a follow-up before the race. It was not good, and he advised heavily against the effort.
Long-term fatigue has many causes, but now my hemoglobin is very low. I still cringe when he uses the word anemia. Low hemoglobin may be a temporary problem remedied by eating more iron-rich foods or taking a multivitamin containing iron. But in this case, it is more from the internal bleeding I am failing to control. I blame my job for most of the stress. I have never experienced job stress at a level like I have in the past six months. I do not see it getting better.
For months, I have held on to the longest consistent part of my life: Grandma's Marathon. Until a few hours ago, I ignored the Doctor and did it anyway. I want to go wrong, as the thought of not going is depressing. It makes me want to ask, what else is there?
All streaks need to end, but I feel empty right now. I feel like my heart is ripped from my chest. Maybe it is my heart that bleeds, not my stomach.
Either way, my consecutive finishes at Grandma's Marathon are over. RIP to the last consistent (30-year) part of my life.
Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.
Mike W.
A heckuva streak, sit back and reflect on all the good years and a few of the struggle years and take pride. Well done. I missed you this year, hope to see you there next year. Mike. Monday, June 29, 2015 at 3:47:12 PM CDT
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