More thoughts

I recently read an article from Steve Cole, Professor of Medicine and Behavioral Sciences at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), about how chronic stress, poverty, loneliness, and fear endemic in crime can alter gene activity and contribute to disease.  He examined how psychological experiences influence immune systems and human health. He is mapping the biological pathways through which social conditions change the expression of traits or tendencies encoded in genetic material.

This was impacting on me as I analyzed 40 years of my life.  (Only 40 years as being 52; I am not sure there were issues before the teen years).  I remember times when my father was fired from his job, and we were concerned about paying for the necessities in life.  At age 13, I lied my age and was hired as a dishwasher to help fund the family's needs.  There was significant stress balancing school and work while writing about the family.  I gained weight, and my health deteriorated. 

When I was 16 years old, the family's financial saturation was strong, and I had few, if any, worries.  I had learned how to manipulate my father's emotions so he no longer beat my mother.  He no longer would beat my sister either.  I had grown to have a lock-tight memory and ensure everything was just as the controlling asshole wanted.  This created harmony, thereby reducing stress and fear.  I naturally became physically fit and had little or no health issues.

The harmony was destroyed when I was 20 years old.  My sister dated an African American.  My father went ballistic, and in return, my sister and I essentially were cast aside and blacklisted in the family.  I for supporting her relationship, and her for the relationship.  That led to significant weight gain and health issues. 

By then, I was 23, and I was content without any family other than my sister. I had lost all the weight, played Division II tennis, and ran a 35-minute 10 K.  Life seemed solid, and I had little worries or stress.

Then, I graduated and went out into the cruel world.  It was hard to find a job, even with a degree.  I got married, moved several times, and now had the stress, fear, and worry of a husband and a father.  

Without going on and on about the last three times I just lost weight and became healthy since then, all are clearly times when I had little or no stress or fear in my life.

The study impacted me in a way I never anticipated. I really need to learn to reduce stress, fear, and anxiety. I am unsure what I will learn, but do you have any ideas about books, techniques, or other information you would suggest?

One thing is for sure, LIFE A JOURNEY.  For some short, like my nephew Aaron Swanson, who died at three years old.  For others, it is a long journey, like my grandfather, who died just short of 100.  Right now, I am between them.

Carry on, my friends, Carry on!