I was a fat
kid -
well, at least for most of my childhood years. I learned to tolerate the
burdens and stigmas society attaches to "fat" people for a brief yet
formative period in my life. As
happens to many children passing through puberty or other growth spurts, I
found myself becoming one of the "fat kids" at about 5th grade and
stayed in that group until about my sophomore year of high school.
I became acutely aware of what it meant to be singled out during that period. Often shunned, made the butt of jokes
and pranks, and acquainted with the cruelty that my "normal"
classmates could sometimes exercise, just to make sure that I knew my place in
the pecking order of adolescent society.
I also
learned about the limitations of adult society. Grownups could be insensitive
or just stupid about what they might say.
This included my parents. I learned adults did not always consider a fat
child's needs to belong to his peer group at this age important at all as I
ended up with "fat kid" clothes, which in the 1970s, were rather
obviously different in styles compared to what our classmates might choose as
the "in" thing to be accepted.
From many different quarters, the inherent message was that "chubby" or "Fattys" were marginal members of society, at best. As long as we
knew our place as defined by the "majority", we could be tolerated,
but not always welcomed into the mainstream.
As anyone
who has lived through early adolescence knows, difference from the norm can be
a painful isolation, or at the very least, a source of real frustration. Many
would see you as something other than worthy, capable, or a desired associate. If we are lucky, as I was, we learn to cherish the friends and relationships offered without prejudice or reservation. This is the way I have found true ultra-marathon
runners. Accepting and nurturing individuals, no matter what the recipient of their kindness, is an impediment.
I was and
remain lucky because I have a nurturing that sees past the limitations or differences imposed by life's lotteries. I was fortunate enough to have had some good friends and adults who accepted me for who I was when my family did not.
Some of that
unconditional love helped me realize that although society and my classmates might not have the capacity to include me, there were people who did and worked at that goal. These were, and still are, the people I seek, regardless of the situation I may find myself experiencing.
I eventually
grew out of being a "fat kid." But as I changed, I realized that the
same forces of ignorance, exclusion, and petty assumptions were alive and well,
regardless of the targeted issue. The discriminations now arose from different
issues than just body size or shape, but frankly, the source was the same - a
mindless conformity, a heartless insecurity. Had I not gone through my "fatty" period, and when I did, I might not have coped as well or had my values strengthened when more adult transgressions against decency, tolerance, humanity, intelligence, and yes, even Love were to rear their ugly heads.
It may seem
odd to some, but I see many positive things that came to me from this experience, with wide-ranging good for the soul. It made me stronger in ways
my unchallenged peers may have never considered. It at least taught me something about human hurtfulness, acceptance, and compassion, and about finding true value in others and applying those lessons in shaping my character and relations with others. It has been a road less
traveled, but it has made all the difference in my experience since.
