Monday, August 12, 2024

Aging mother challenges

Last weekend, my sister and I had a task no one should face, especially on my mother's birthday, but it was needed!  After the death of our father, Mom was staying on the farm in the middle of nowhere.  I have witnessed her memory fading for years, and staying there was not a safe option.  We spent 6 months trying hard to convince her to leave the life she had experienced for half a century and move into a facility that allows aging-in-place/continuum of care services.  She reluctantly agreed.


My sister went three days earlier to complete the final steps for such a move: medical, prescriptions, mail, and many other tasks. I woke at 4:30 AM and had the 4.5-hour drive to pick up the moving truck. With four of us, it took over three hours to load the truck, which was faster than anticipated. I was originally thinking of staying overnight but decided to make the drive home to get an early start moving into her new unit.

Unloading the truck took 90 minutes. Unpacking was more challenging. As the old farm furniture was worn, we only brought the newer bed, two dressers, and a chair. So, before we could fully unpack, we needed to get a love seat, a TV stand, a microwave cart, end tables, and numerous household items.

Partially unpacked and settled!

The adjustment to the new place could be faster.  Even though it is a full-service facility, she wants to stay in the unit.  Like the old farm, she rarely went outside, only when she needed something from town.  She also has little desire to be social.  She is capable of completing basic self-care.   She communicates well but needs clarification, is forgetful, and is withdrawn from social activities. 

My partner's mother went through the entire Alzheimer's stages.  She had a hard time toward the end when her mother did not even recall who she was when she visited.  I am not looking forward to the inevitable but must prepare for the progression.  At least she will be 4 minutes from my sister and 20 minutes from me.  Much better than the 270 miles to the farm!

Carry on my friends, carry on!

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