Christmas and fear

As John Lennon would sing:

So this is Christmas

And what have you done

Another year over

And a new one just begun

And so this is Christmas

I hope you have fun

The near and the dear ones

The old and the young

A very merry Christmas

And a happy New Year

Let’s hope it’s a good one

Without any fear

At the household where I partake in the Christmas spirit, it is all good, with most being happy and some having short-term content.  Yes, I said content, which, to me, is being in a state of peaceful happiness.  Although we all realize the overworked and dog-eat-dog rat race we all became part of will soon be back in our faces.

I have a habit (good or bad, depending on how you look at it) of using part of Christmas to look up old friends and find comfort in the fact that the world is OK.  We are all alive and well, which is most important.

This Christmas, I shed a tear.  I learned Garret Zwickey, a 28-year-old, died a few weeks ago.  No family should have to endure that pain, but I find more than one that does every year.  Each year for the past six years, I know of an individual under 30 whom the parents must say goodbye to soon.

As I get older, the words of John Lennon, without any fear, are harder to accept.  My fear increases yearly.  This opens the door to the great debate about fear.  To address this topic, we must enter the realm of planetary evolution on a much bigger scale.  We must view ourselves as powerful beings who wish to evolve to our highest potential rather than as weak people trying to cope with a less-than-optimal situation.

The first thing is fear is part of our biology.  The experience of fear arises from the infamous amygdala in the ancient, reptilian portion of our brains.  But I do not want to debate our biological structure.  I will leave that to the scientists and anthropologists of our time.  I wish, “Is fear essential?”

Fear is in our lives.  Whenever we attempt to stray outside our comfort zone or change our habits and beliefs, fear will hit us like a shockwave and warn us to stay put.  And like the well-trained dog, we soon learn to do so.  We become fearful of our creative ability to evolve and change, and we learn to deem such things dangerous.  Fear teaches us to be extremely wary of our better and higher selves.

How about all of the times you have passionately wanted to make something of your life and fulfill your life’s purpose?  Has fear supported you in doing that?  Has fear said, “Go for it!  You are a creative, empowered, intelligent being.  You can do it!” When was the last time you heard fear say that to you?  Of course, the answer is “Never.”

No, fear probably said something like this to you: “You can’t do that!  What will people think?  Besides, you’re too stupid.  Remember all the other times you failed?  You don’t want to expose what a loser you are, do you?” In other words, according to fear, the consequences will be dire indeed.  And just to make sure that the negative messages really sink in, all of this negative self-talk will be accompanied by miserable physical sensations of anxiety and worry, which are the closely-knit cousins of fear.

Fear is basically an inhibitor.  It is not a friend.  It inhibits you from highly negative experiences, whether they be physical, mental, or emotional.  Fear acts as the antidote to consciousness and evolution.  When was the last time you made a good decision from a fear-based place?  When was the last time you had clarity when acting from a basis of fear?  And at the most basic level, when was the last time you felt beautiful when experiencing fear?  Have you noticed that love is nowhere to be found when feeling fear?

So, let’s dispense with this idea that fear is a necessary friend.  Let’s call it what it is; an outdated, outmoded, primitive part of our biology and consciousness.  It causes us to war with each other like animals.  It causes us to lose control and behave irrationally.  It makes us stupid and ineffective.  Ultimately, it shuts down consciousness, love, and intelligence altogether.  Fear is completely incompatible with our higher selves.

Yet, I fear the loss of a loved one, additional tragic moments on the earth, and so many things.  I need to learn to deal with the fears, but how can I when I keep learning of dear friends saying goodbye too soon.  RIP, Garret and Cammi, Gary, Brent, and Shannon remain strong for each other and cherish the memories.  May I learn to release some fear, as it controls one’s life?

Carry on, my friends, carry on…