I often ride a bike to work. It is an excellent way to start the day, even
when it is 18 miles one-way. As I
get older, it is more challenging. We will have riding weather soon, and I will try to take the morning ride once again and then return at night. I just hope I do not become a grumpy old man and quit! What is a grumpy old man?
Last year, I was riding my bike to
work when a 65-plus-year-old, out of shape and looking like he hated life, pulled
next to me and shouted, "Hey!" I turned, and he shouted, "Keep your bike on the sidewalk!" An essential fact at that location is that there was no sidewalk. However, he
proceeded to follow close at my reduced speed and honked his horn in anger as
I rode along the side of the street.
What I experienced was a variation on
the classic Grumpy Old Man. I immediately recognized him as the stereotypical
"Guy Who Is Irritated by Everything" group member.
As I continued my bike ride, I came
up on a sidewalk. I moved onto a
sidewalk and stopped. At that time, he quit honking and sped off. I returned to the street and rode peacefully the rest of the way. I resolved silently: I
will never allow myself to become a "Grumpy Old Man." But to keep this resolution, I
needed to look into why 50-60 and onward men turn into
Oscar the Grouch. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it is
understandable – terrifyingly understandable – why men my age start to
turn sour.
The most obvious reason is this: At
this age, we have more issues that cause self-induced irritation. The first reason is we spend our lives
taking pride in at least some aspect of our physical capacities. Some brag about their bench-press strength,
others brag about the speed they run, others their agility, and for some, the
ability to eat 20 hot dogs in a row.
It doesn't matter what they were good at, as the point remains the same. They are not as good at it
anymore.
After 50, I discovered aches, pains,
syndromes, and indignities. The prostate acts up while my once ironclad stomach becomes
delicate. I have so much trouble sleeping. I am reminded each day by all the pharmaceutical
commercials. Every day, advertisers
push the message about my pending acid reflux, joint pain, erectile
dysfunction, frequent urination, and so on. Think about it!
In the past decade, I have experienced changes in my family and work lives. My identity was tied to my child, my daytime job, and the part-time
officiating for decades. Then, my kid left home, and my job (career) was a
terrible experience. What do we have left? The most pressing issue is the world is
changing around me, and rarely to my high standards. Aging, I often succumb to
the nearly irresistible temptation to look at "The World These Days" and find
it hopelessly screwed up.
I fear the government is on the wrong
track, taxes are too high, kids have no respect, athletes are on
performance-enhancing drugs, the world has gone Twitter-mad, computers lock up,
cell phones are never off, and I no longer talk, even to my girlfriend, as we
text. Personal interaction has
gone away both at work and in my personal relationships.
Just thinking about all of this is
getting me, yes, irritated. With all this evidence of decline, how can I not
be grumpy?
I have been told to read "The Wonder of Aging: A New Approach to Embracing Life After Fifty." It addresses how men and women
age differently – and why men sometimes turn sour. Often, I am told this is all related to
testosterone. Some say the body is
robbed of this important chemical.
So, will ubiquitous testosterone supplements be the solution? Nope. It's
not that easy, as nothing is easy.
However, the deeper causes of my
Grumpy Old Man syndrome lie in my life's emotional and psychological realm.
I went through a divorce. Lost a dear child in that process. My youngest child is grown, and my
oldest is the one I have only spent about 300 hours within his 35 years alive. My girlfriend's child is now fretting about job
loss in a strong economy. So many
young people are in debt more than a small house from student loans and can't
find stable work.
The most important thing is to
shift my energy into something good. Similar shifts may have to take place when it comes to
relationships, sex, or spiritual life.
After all this, I come to one question. Is there anything inherently wrong with a grumpy old man
telling me to get on a sidewalk?
Maybe he is apprehensive about my safety.
That is the power of finding something
positive, even when he is arrogant and pompous.
