We also have an election tonight. I, for one, have been nervous about the state of America. Both major parties are too far left or too far right. Excessive anger abounds, with people hating each other over a political belief. That was usually reserved for religion. The world is changing in ways I fear.
I am also near an anniversary. An anniversary of a traumatic event in life that reactivates thoughts and feelings from the actual event. Each November, I experience peaks of anxiety and depression. I remember events clearly and feel emotions more intensely than during the actual event. While I know reliving the sadness is a very natural part of a healing process, it has been over two decades, and I realize there is no one right way to heal, or maybe I will never recover.
I keep trying to find healthy ways to cope with stress and distress. Writing is one way that helps, so I have been writing more using another source. I do not share memories and feelings with someone I trust, which I hear would help. While I know activities that allow my mind to focus on something other than these memories are a good coping strategy, that has been my employment. The stress from work is excessive; it only makes the frequent chest pains more challenging to handle. Stress for ma also results in impulsive eating and weight gain. I am now at the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I feel trapped. I sleep an average of 4 hours a night and average near well over 60 hours per week at work. Below are typical sleep patterns from my sleep monitor software.
I am also near an anniversary. An anniversary of a traumatic event in life that reactivates thoughts and feelings from the actual event. Each November, I experience peaks of anxiety and depression. I remember events clearly and feel emotions more intensely than during the actual event. While I know reliving the sadness is a very natural part of a healing process, it has been over two decades, and I realize there is no one right way to heal, or maybe I will never recover.
I keep trying to find healthy ways to cope with stress and distress. Writing is one way that helps, so I have been writing more using another source. I do not share memories and feelings with someone I trust, which I hear would help. While I know activities that allow my mind to focus on something other than these memories are a good coping strategy, that has been my employment. The stress from work is excessive; it only makes the frequent chest pains more challenging to handle. Stress for ma also results in impulsive eating and weight gain. I am now at the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I feel trapped. I sleep an average of 4 hours a night and average near well over 60 hours per week at work. Below are typical sleep patterns from my sleep monitor software.
I try contemplative activities like reading, thinking, or walking, which is also the right approach. Walking is painful, so that is an issue. I am fortunate I do not drink or use drugs, which is the choice for many. I will do a water workout, as exercise is the best way to get through November. I know this, but too tired and sore to get going. I need to find strength. I need to get through the next six weeks. I fear that it will be hard. However, I have always been told that fear is a useless emotion. I need to focus on that fact!
