No weight update, but what is respect?

Respect, what is it?  Definitions include “a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated appropriately, ““an act of giving particular attention,” or “an act of giving particular attention.”  In this fast-paced world, how is it measured?  How has the definition of respect changed or applied in my mix of generations?  Can it be variable?

I particularly admit that I have learned so much more about respect as I age.  It is like love or hate, hard to understand, easy to recognize, and defined with great variety.  When I was younger, what I thought was respectful behavior really would not be considered respectful.  I lost relationships and friends in some cases and gained friends in others.  A respectful action was based on equivalency between two parties.  I look back at the arrogance and half-respect that may have contributed to my divorce.

As I age, one particular issue just “burns my britches,” and I consider it disrespectful.  Again, if both parties’ actions are equal, it is hard to say there is no mutual respect.  However, the issue-level is intensified when the other party gets angry with you for doing what they do to you.  You want a clear example.

In 2007, I was attempting my first Superior Trail 100-mile race.  The race started at 8:00 AM on a Friday.  I did not have Cell service for most of the run, so my crew had my phone.  However, at mile 77 (11:00 AM Saturday), I noted I had service when my crew gave me my phone, as there were several messages.  Worried there was something wrong, I listened to all nine messages from the same person, which are forever burned into my mind. 

The first came in at 5:30 PM Friday and asked that I call back.  About an hour later, they called and were getting upset.  This escalated to the 9^th message at 10:15 AM Saturday to yelling, calling me names for not responding, saying I was useless, disrespectful, and more (including profanity).  My emotions sank, and it was attributed to me quitting the race (a decision I have regretted since), as this person was very close to me.  The harsh, demeaning words and anger hurt.  

They had no respect because I was trying to do something for me.  At that time, I knew my desire to get out and be free in nature was crushed as I wanted to be sure I was there for them in the future.  I calmly returned the call, explained my situation, and apologized repeatedly.  They were still upset, and that made me feel lower.   I was really devastated mentally.  I mentally noted that I should not try such a thing again (be away from my phone for more than a few hours.) 

Why do I bring this up?  Since 2007, it has been shared for this dear friend to ignore communications frequently from several people as if it is no big deal.  I personally witnessed this person see who was calling and forget it.  I then talked to the individual who called, and they have yet to call back.  It is a double standard at the highest, and I tolerate it.  Although I still have memories of the demeaning voicemails I received in 2007 when I did not return their call within a few hours.

My girlfriend can put her phone down for 4-6 hours and never look at it.  Many people who know her are sometimes frustrated with that action, but I find it very acceptable as she also does not anticipate a quick response from me either.  I got back hours later, and she was fine.  Therefore, in that case, there is mutual respect.  However, in the case where an individual wants an immediate response, they get furious, yet they may take days to respond to you; that is where there is a high level of disrespect.  Therefore, as I stated, this is a rolling scale, respect that is.

What are your thoughts?  When is it respectful to reply to a call?  In my case, in 2007, I was without service or off-grid, and that was understandable.  However, if I was not off-grid and out of service, what is a respectful response time?  I would think four hours would be respectful, yet I am not sure if there is a standard.

  

Carry on, my friends, carry on!!!

6 weeks, 11.9 sounds

Well, it has been 6 weeks since I have watched what I ate and worked out very little due to high stress and demands at the office.  I started on January 1 at 313.7 pounds.  I lost 6.6 pounds in the first three weeks and close to 5.3 pounds in the past three weeks. 

February 15, 2016

I helped my son move into a GREAT condo in Golden, Colorado the first week of February. It is so nice, and I look forward to visiting more this summer to escape the office. 

Two days before the move, I visited the physician and needed to go on intense anti-biotic treatment again.  It played hell on my stomach.  While moving my son, I started to have all the symptoms of a bleeding ulcer, and the pain was excruciating.  I also had to have a root canal at the same time.  I could not sleep lying down, and even during the day, the pain was unbelievable.  I tried hard to balance the pain with Advil.  I was drinking anything robotic and watching what I ate.  It took under 10 days to get some semblance of routine and no longer have the jet-black stool!

So, on February 15, I weighed in at 301.8.  I was a little bummed as I was hoping to be in the 200’s again.  I feel lighter, but 12 pounds is not a feather.  I hope I continue good habits and, within the next two weeks, continue to be on the enable 2 pounds per week average weight loss.  I assume when I can ride a bike to work, I will increase that to 4 pounds a week with ease.  However, I am happy to have 2 pounds weekly for the first six weeks.

I also have been a little stressed lately about my father.  He is not doing well; I assume this is the last winter he will be with us on earth.  We do not have a relationship, but as I get older, I realize he did many things wrong, but he tried.  As I age, I make many mistakes that my son gets angry with, and most of the time, it is just I trying and failing. Is the father-son relationship I once thought was strong weakening?  That is hard to face, but I have made mistakes and am not sure they can be overcome.  Time will tell.

Last weekend, I also reviewed my 30th root beer(another blog). Seeing the variety I found in 30 beverages was interesting, and I still have 70 in the basement to test!

I will update you as I continue to succeed.  Carry on, my friends, carry on!