Time flies as we age. That is for sure in my life right now! I recall it being September like it was yesterday. Adding some workouts to my 70-plus-hour work weeks has made the time fly. I get out of bed, head to work, work through lunch, and leave work at about 7, and about three of those days, I got a workout in. I sure feel good and desire to do it so much more. But how?
I could get up at 5:30 AM and head to the gym. I tried that one day but was too tired at 7 PM to go. I don't know the best solution, but I'm glad I am still trying. In these stressful times, it is so much easier to give up.
I did pick up my son last weekend in Colorado. It was a different experience than ever before. He is stressed as well. For the first time since I got divorced over a decade ago, he started yelling at me about things, including the Divorce and my parenting. It was an uncomfortable experience, that is for sure. Sometimes, it is hard to forget the harsh words of others, even if they were spoken out of anger and not intended to be as harsh as they were taken. This is a lesson I took long to learn, and it looks like he is following in my footsteps.
It could be that I am too sensitive. With life just being work, sleep, work, sleep, try to clean the place, work, sleep... I just feel like I have lost my life. I was talking to a woman who was recently released from prison, and she stated that life was better there. While she lost freedom, she had no time or much less freedom in her free life.
But when my son went on the verbal attack, it was difficult. One thing I am most proud of is being a father. I gave and continue to give everything I can with a focus that he improves and becomes a better man. However, that was one of many reasons I failed in many ways, such as relationships or self-preservation. I learned the hard way that there needs to be a balance between all aspects of life. That is what being a Type A does to a life.
I also goofed up, and somehow, when I washed the 5 loads of clothes he had built up, bleach got on a few of his favorite shirts. Another black eye on that one. But then again, somehow, I goofed up, but I need to figure out how.
I have been getting plenty of questions lately about Grandma's Marathon. It is my 35th year, and it will be my 27th. My heart is not in it at all. I long for trails but clearly despise the road. I responded that I would do it if someone thought they would struggle to finish; I would go with them and pull them through. Last year, I finished and only ran 15 miles from January through June, so mentally, I am fine. But that is getting harder as I dislike running that same course yearly.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. My son will be here; I set up the three-foot-high tree. Looks so funny with the presents hiding under the tree. Oh well, it's so much easier to take down, right? All I can say is I hope 2011 does not go as fast as 2010. I need to make adjustments and get life back on track. Many roads to travel, and I still need a road map. So I will keep using the instinct to determine the best path and assure that I am not to proud to turn around and go back when i think I went the wrong way. In the past, I kept going, and as I age, I realize it is better to admit my mistakes and try another path. That will assure eventually, I will be on the right road. But then again, as my friend points out, Mother Nature can change the path at any time, and all I can do is be patient and use the knowledge I have gained.
Carry on, my friends...
