Cleaning out the photo files

Each year, I clean out the photo files. With a digital camera, I think I take about 3,000 photos annually but eventually only keep about 500. As I sort through many favorites, I thought I would share a few that I loved, the way they turned out or the story they tell.

Here they are: (Click on the photo to see a larger, more vivid photo)

The best sunset picture I have ever taken... Colorado Rockies!


The blank looks when you need to pull yourself from a race early...

It's not a good place to have both feet off the ground at once...

No, it is not tie-dye. A bloody nose went back miles earlier. When the blood stopped, just put the shirt back on.

This was taken at FANS... Minimalist?

So we are at another year's end. They come and go so fast...

As I approach 2011, I have some questions to which I may have some answers. I am closer to my 50th birthday and cannot wonder why everyone is getting old around me? Why do people refer to 50 as the Middle Ages? Does this mean I am going to live to be 100? I doubt it!!! If I am only as young as I fell, how does that account for all my worn-out parts? If I get my parts updates, will I be the man of steal? Why do I keep asking this body to hurry up when, in reality, I am slowing down?

I have questions as I ponder the past year and many past ones. Although, I can honestly say I have learned a few things about life in general:

• No matter how bad someone treats you, they are human, and we must learn to forgive.
• I cannot solve all my problems, so I must stop trying to solve other people's problems.
• Always put a "No Trespassing" sign above your "welcome" mat.
• Worry works; everything I worry about seems not to happen.
• If I pluck all my gray hairs so as not to become gray, I will be bald.
• Plucking those hairs from my ears and nose is easier than finding them.
• When I was 19, I knew everything; there was no need to ask. By the time I was 30, there was more to know. But by the time I was 40, my kid knew everything and corrected all my mistakes. Now, I am pushing 50, and I know that I have so much more to learn.
• Every day is a struggle, yet I wake up each morning thankful to be alive and given another day to get it right.
• I am blessed to still have all God's blessings: Sight, Sound, Touch, Taste and Smell.
• I am thankful that I have met so many people and have had so many people in my life.
• Other people's pets have taught me more about God's love than 1,000 sermons!
  

So if I wait to post for the rest of the year... Thanks for reading (suffering or enjoying) my thoughts this year. Until then, think about the following...

"People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas."

"Be at war with your vices; at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better human."

Carry on, my friends... carry on...

What, it's December 23rd! HOW?

Time flies as we age. That is for sure in my life right now! I recall it being September like it was yesterday. Adding some workouts to my 70-plus-hour work weeks has made the time fly. I get out of bed, head to work, work through lunch, and leave work at about 7, and about three of those days, I got a workout in. I sure feel good and desire to do it so much more. But how?

I could get up at 5:30 AM and head to the gym. I tried that one day but was too tired at 7 PM to go. I don't know the best solution, but I'm glad I am still trying. In these stressful times, it is so much easier to give up.

I did pick up my son last weekend in Colorado. It was a different experience than ever before. He is stressed as well. For the first time since I got divorced over a decade ago, he started yelling at me about things, including the Divorce and my parenting. It was an uncomfortable experience, that is for sure. Sometimes, it is hard to forget the harsh words of others, even if they were spoken out of anger and not intended to be as harsh as they were taken. This is a lesson I took long to learn, and it looks like he is following in my footsteps.

It could be that I am too sensitive. With life just being work, sleep, work, sleep, try to clean the place, work, sleep... I just feel like I have lost my life. I was talking to a woman who was recently released from prison, and she stated that life was better there. While she lost freedom, she had no time or much less freedom in her free life.

But when my son went on the verbal attack, it was difficult. One thing I am most proud of is being a father. I gave and continue to give everything I can with a focus that he improves and becomes a better man. However, that was one of many reasons I failed in many ways, such as relationships or self-preservation. I learned the hard way that there needs to be a balance between all aspects of life. That is what being a Type A does to a life.

I also goofed up, and somehow, when I washed the 5 loads of clothes he had built up, bleach got on a few of his favorite shirts. Another black eye on that one. But then again, somehow, I goofed up, but I need to figure out how.

I have been getting plenty of questions lately about Grandma's Marathon. It is my 35th year, and it will be my 27th. My heart is not in it at all. I long for trails but clearly despise the road. I responded that I would do it if someone thought they would struggle to finish; I would go with them and pull them through. Last year, I finished and only ran 15 miles from January through June, so mentally, I am fine. But that is getting harder as I dislike running that same course yearly.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. My son will be here; I set up the three-foot-high tree. Looks so funny with the presents hiding under the tree. Oh well, it's so much easier to take down, right? All I can say is I hope 2011 does not go as fast as 2010. I need to make adjustments and get life back on track. Many roads to travel, and I still need a road map. So I will keep using the instinct to determine the best path and assure that I am not to proud to turn around and go back when i think I went the wrong way. In the past, I kept going, and as I age, I realize it is better to admit my mistakes and try another path. That will assure eventually, I will be on the right road. But then again, as my friend points out, Mother Nature can change the path at any time, and all I can do is be patient and use the knowledge I have gained.

Carry on, my friends...

Expectations

I was working out with a friend the other day, and she started talking about feeling like she was on the outside looking into life. I questioned what she meant by that statement. Summarizing what she said, she said that while her husband is next to her, she feels like there is a glass wall between them (except when infrequent intimacy is involved, but all other times). She said at her new job, she just seems to not fit in; she said with her over-achieving family, she feels left behind, and she said with most workout friends, she feels less than adequate.

A consistent point was “she feels,” and I asked her what they had done to make her “feel” that way. She said they do not smile or say hi, and they are just there with little appreciation for her efforts. I explained I knew what she meant because I had been there as well, and in some ways, I still am. I commented she should read “The Cost of Living” (http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9781590173275). That book is not about women with perfect exteriors — their hair did just so, their manicures never chipped, their voices soft and silky, and they never said the wrong thing. Instead, the author writes about draggled laces, sagging hems, and undone ribbons. Her stories about everyday women and heroines are about the awkward, the hopeless, the immature, and the ones on the outside of womanhood looking in, like her and many others. I told her I did not think it would be a revelation, but it was a good read. I will wait to hear any comments if she reads it.

I thought this was a preconceived notion that we have a certain level of self-worth and a certain amount to give before we expect to benefit from the work and effort. It is the expectation within us that creates disappointment.  Like when I hope to finish a marathon in less than 4 hours. I failed when I had exceeded more than 99.6 percent of all humans. (So the web says in a study from 2007.) What a great thing I should celebrate. But my expectations are what really caused the problem.

I do this all the time! Have expectations and then big-time disappointments. May my next 15-minute per-mile run/jog be joyous for what it is, a successful run. Still doing more than the majority of the world, just not accomplishing anything compared with the friends I keep...

Carry on my friends…