Just under 200 hours

Been a while again.  Seems to be a pattern, and I need to create more entries.  They say writing down thoughts is healthy.  Yet I am aging and tired.  Life gets more complex and more challenging.  It does not help that the toxic environment where I work has reached a level I could not even believe possible, and that does not make life easier!!!  I started counting to 1,000 calendar days and nearing 500 days before retiring.  I keep singing the famous Gloria Gaynor tune, I Will Survive.

I don't trust technology, yet I purchased a program called Weltory for my Apple Watch.  It provides feedback about four times each day.  Below is a typical reading.

This brings to light that I need to recall that tying my identity to work is dangerous. I must realize that my career doesn't make me who I am. Yet I have found that by connecting my identity to my job, the successes and failures I experience will directly affect my self-worth. I have become so embedded in my 28-year tenure that it defines and controls me. It's my fault. This was not an issue for 22 years, but when it became toxic, the health impacts increased exponentially.   

Toxicity is hugely detrimental to mental, physical, and emotional well-being.  It has resulted in increased stress, fear of depression, and, ultimately reached, burnout.  Although, being so close to retirement, I do not have the luxury of quitting—at least not immediately.  I am working to develop healthy coping strategies.  One is that for the first time since 2018, I have vacationed.  I am visiting my son in North Carolina.  I have been away for five work days so far and only logged in two days and worked 6-8 hours daily.  I have taken time away before logging in remotely nearly every day, including weekends.  This has been a refreshing break!

However, I also recall a great quote by Banana Yoshimoto - "As I grow older, much older, I will experience many things, and I will hit rock bottom again and again.  Again and again, I will suffer; again and again, I will get back on my feet.  I will not be defeated.  I won't let my spirit be destroyed."   

I also recall the wise and sad words of Robin Williams: "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone.  It's not!  The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel alone." My employment experience has made me feel so alone!

In other stress reduction efforts, with my 45-mile Thanksgiving day bike ride, I have passed the 3,000-mile mark, riding just under 200 hours in 2022.  It was 2019 when I did 3,542 miles in 233 hours; I was above 3,000.  So, a nice increase over 2020 and 2021, where I did not top 2,000 miles in either year., 2019. 3542.  213 hours.  I am still determining what my 2023 goals are, yet topping 4,000 miles would be nice.  Compared to my son, who will top 12,000 miles on the bike in 2022, 4,000 does not look impressive, but it would be an achievement for an old, tired, and worn-out man.

Here is to putting words into a form that can be recalled.  

Carry on, my friends, carry on!!!

If you need help understanding why I end my posts with carry-on, click the link and read the history.

Are apple and oranges really opposite?

People say you compare apples and oranges when they think my analogies are way off base.  However, are apples and oranges that much different?  They’re both fruits.  They’re both rounds.  They both have a slightly tangy taste.  Both have similar fluid content.  They’re about the same size.  And they both grow on trees.  Therefore, one could argue that the old saying is not a good analogy at all?

Recently, this statement has been used when talking about weight loss.  For my whole life, I battled my weight.  For the first six months of 2022, I focussed on whole and natural foods, exercise, cutting out sugar, and avoiding processed food.  I have lost 14 pounds.  It does not matter what I eat; if I do not work out for hours each day, losing weight seems unattainable, unlike my brother, who never had any issue with weight.  He could eat three times as much as I do and never gain the tire in the middle.  I will never understand it?  I have read every theory possible, and I need clarification.  Is it time to seek help?

But what is help?  Do I see a nutritionist?  Do I know an expert on metabolism?  Do I see a medical Doctor?  Do I see a therapist?  Tried a nutritionist before, and she said I was one of the healthiest eaters she had ever reviewed.  Yet my weight increased by 2,000 to 2,400 calories a day.

Everyone states the formula for weight loss is to eat less and exercise more, and you need a calorie deficit to lose weight.  That was true when I was younger, but not now!  I think my metabolism is being destroyed; it’s more complex.

Metabolism is an adaptive mechanism; for some, we have trained our bodies to run off less fuel.  This is due to inconsistent meals that need better balance and need to be improved in high-quality nutrition.  I complain that I feel tired, have low energy, can’t sleep well, have hunger and cravings, and can’t lose weight.

I know people do Keto, low carb, fasting, or they do some drastic thing to try to get out of that holiday sugar rush that they feel like they have because they feel so gross and disgusting from the holidays.  And so they do this like a pendulum swing.  That’s the worst thing that results when we sort of swing back and forth between extremes.

That’s not healthy either, and your metabolism hates that.  It doesn’t make you feel good.  What are the best options?  Can you do a shake program for the rest of your life?  Can you do Whole 30 for the rest of your life?  Can you do Paleo for the rest of your life?  Can you do Keto for the rest of your life?  Most of us think I can’t wait to get off this to eat my favorite food. 

Many people on social media preach protein and strength training on my Instagram or in a weight loss class.  So, I need clarification.

I am going to do research to see what may be the best option.  It may confuse me, as weight loss programs are like comparing apples and oranges!

Carry on, my friends, carry on.

PRIM

Nice ride

 I was able to commute to work today and miss the rain.  However, it was perfect timing: The raindrops started when I pulled up to the garage on my return from work!  I do not mind riding in the rain but prefer avoiding it for safety reasons.

After today, I have logged 1,429.1 miles in 83 hours of riding (17.21 MPH).  I know that might seem fast, but with the e-bike, that speed is easier.  When I ride the e-bike, I set my Garmin to buzz the watch if I drop below 120 BPM or above 150 BPM Heart rate.  I adjust the assist accordingly.  To date, the average heart rate is 127 BPM.  So I still get a workout on the 40-minute ride one way to work.  As shown below, I commute by bike almost three times as much as by car.  I do not know of a price increase in gas prices as this is the first time I have filled my car up in over a month.

I will ride again tomorrow and hope to ride all week.  The weather may change that possibility.  I will close with a story about not giving up!

During the gold rush, a man mining in Colorado for several months quit his job. He had yet to strike gold, and the work was becoming tiresome. So he sold his equipment to another man, who resumed mining where he had left off. 

The new miner's engineer advised him that gold was only three feet from where the first miner stopped digging.  The engineer was right, which means the first miner was a mere three feet away from striking gold before he quit.

The Moral:

When things start to get hard, try to persevere through adversity.  Many people give up on their dreams because the work becomes too difficult, tedious, or tiresome–but often, you're closer to the finish line than you may think, and if you push just a little more complicated, you will succeed.

Carry on, my friends, carry on!

New bike?

 I have 13 bikes in the garage.  Two of my sons, two for Shelley, five for Shelley's grandkids, and four are mine.  I have two Surly Long haul Truckers; one is an electric vehicle made with the Bionx D500 in 2015, and the other is for riding without electric assistance.  I also have my original Cannondale SR400 from the 80s and my Juiced RipCurrent S fat tire bike.  My Bionx has about 12,000 miles, and I am starting to have intermittent issues.  The Juiced Bike has about 4,000 miles, and I can tell the motor is getting old.  Bionz is a brushless system, and the Juiced is a brushless geared motor from Bafang.  Rare to get more than 5,000 miles on that motor.

With the Bionx nearing the end of life, I decided to look for a solid bike on sale.  I was pleased to find a Diamondback Current to replace the Bionx.  Tomorrow will be the first long ride; I hope it was a good choice.  I got the bike for $1,2000 off on sale!  To hard to pass up a Bosch Performance Line CX motor and its components.

Let me see how it goes. So now I have 14 bikes in the garage, five of which are mine: three electric and two non-electric.

Carry on, my friends, carry on!

Six month's later

I need to get better at writing just to realize time is flying.  I miss getting my thoughts down frequently.  Not so much for others but for my own mental health.  The worst part is that I get frustrated daily with how our country has become divided.  What is wrong with people?  As many know, Trump is a bully who lies, cheats, and does what it takes to get his way.  For that, some friends refuse to talk to me.  I have a co-worker who thinks Trump is the savior.  We speak often, and while I may never understand her support, I accept that, and we remain friends.  Unfortunately, that is no longer the way society is.

After running, I loved volunteering for others in races.  Then, one year, I stopped.  Why?  About the same reason as politics.  As a volunteer, I met more and more ungrateful people.  AT the Superior 100, I had a runner threaten to punch my lights out because they were over 90 minutes past the cut-off, and I needed to take the tracker.  Lost all enjoyment.  It is a shame, but I hear others say the same about volunteering.  I had a friend coaching a 6th-grade baseball team, and a parent shoved him because his kid was not at the top of the order.  I often hear how these youth programs have difficulty finding coaches as the asshole parents are the last to step up; it would interfere with their hateful tendencies toward others.

We are coming up on the Grandma's Marathon date again.  Hard to believe the last one was eight years ago.  It was challenging, but it was my 30th year, and I did run it with my son.  That was the end of the running for me.  It was not enjoyable, only work.  Benn getting out on the bike more.  Although I rotate from e-bike to non-e-bike, I wear a monitor to keep my heart rate above 115 BPM.  I still average a heart rate of 125-130 BPM for a ride.  To date, I am just under 1,400 miles.  

I had a little fun with a photo enhancer to make me look younger.  The enhancer removed the aged face and lines.  The hair and beard were not touched.  Is this not back for an old guy?

I mean, kids now get a sticker on each correct worksheet, a certificate for participation, a free theme park ticket for reading, and the more wrapping paper you sell for the PTA or cookies for Girl Scouts, the more prizes you get; if you read, you get a pizza... Play on a rec sports team?  We all get a trophy.  It's your birthday?  Come pick a prize.  Did you attend a party?  You get a goodie bag.  When will we get back to the facts!  Your team didn't win?  You don't get a trophy. 

While motivational tools and incentives have a time and a place, we have a generation of kids who feel entitled to whatever they want whenever they want.  Sure, not all kids.  But too many kids think they deserve a trophy for showing up.  Unfortunately, you will not get a medal, certificate, prize, or ribbon for doing what you should do anyway.  It starts with parents realizing they are not perfect, and neither will their kids.  And no, you do not get a trophy just because you showed up.

I am tired of dealing with young adults who grew up getting a trophy for showing up.  Unfortunately, some's entitled attitude creates a wrong impression.  If I do not praise one person almost daily, you would think they would emotionally fall apart.  As long as I go out of my way to make them feel successful a few times daily, I must do the work myself, as they can't function.  I wish that statement was a joke, but it is far from it.

I did take a few hours and had some fun with the dog and treats.  See the photos below!

Other than that, it always seems the same: I work too much and enjoy life too little, and I pray that work does not kill me to enjoy retirement.  I am nearing 1 million minutes before I retire. It will be here soon.  I will write more, even if it is not read.  It is suitable for mental health, and who has not needed it after the past few years?

Carry on, my friends, carry on!