This was a tough week for me. Many past thoughts went through my
head. I sometimes believe everyone
wonders if they are good humans, as I have had many doubts. Much of my life and others are filled
with mentors who help shape who we are and how we live.
In this blog, I wrote about the
only mentor I had until I was in my teens: my grandfather. In my high school years, I had Mr. Gary Clark and Mr. Larry
Anderson. They were two people who
influenced me to take life seriously. I often wonder if I would be where I am today or in jail without them.
Until I had a son, I thought I naturally wanted to raise him to have a full, emotional, yet stable life. Then
I tried to, and I discovered a big difference between believing a
boy should show his feelings freely and actually having a boy who does. I was fortunate in 1984 to attend a
tennis camp called Tennis
and Life Camp. While I always remembered the lessons from that camp, I never really implemented them in my own
life.
Raising a child is difficult, and
because of my emotional faults, I was a single father. I decided that my son needed to have
good role models. He already had a
very wise lawyer as a grandfather who was instrumental in raising a fine young
man. The other was Steve
Wilkinson. He was the originator
of the fermented tennis camp. I
decided it was best for my son to attend the camp.
Because of my son’s perceived handicap,
Steve really took my son under his wing.
He emphasized the importance of the three crowns in tennis and in life.
The first crown symbolizes that you have the choice
to be positive, no matter what the situation. You should focus on the things
in your control and let go of the things that are not in your
control. For example, when you compete, whether you win or not isn’t in your
control, just as your final grade isn’t in your control—what you can have
control over is your attitude.
The second crown is a commitment to giving your full
effort. Don’t just blow off a course; give it your all—regardless of the
grade you will receive, the comments you may receive, or the regret you may feel as you live your life.
The third crown is good sportsmanship, and we are always
looking for ways to affirm that. That’s why I teach sports ethics. It
combines my interest in religion with sports—a meaningful combination.
So, I truly believe my son had three fathers. Besides the biological father, me, he
had his grandfather and Steve Wilkinson.
Steve died this past week.
That resulted in a hole in many hearts, including mine and, I am sure, my
son’s.
If the readers of this post do not know the man, I
suggest you read the memoir he published before his death. It is called “Let Love Serve,” and I
really suggest you read it. It
will give you a full understanding of what it means to live life fully.
We will be going to this funeral next week, and I, for one, will have a difficult time.
I anticipate my son will as well.
When you lose such a hero, it is difficult. Although now, more than at any time in my life, it is important
to recall the lessons Steve taught me 30 years ago and, this time, implement them.
