Carry on? All you quiet dreamers carry on

Training is nearing an end. I had a hard weekend with continuously moving the body 38 out of the possible 48 hours from Friday at 5 PM to Sunday at 5 PM. This was good as this is the second effort at keeping the mind focused as I continue to move in preparation for the 102 miles I want to run. This was after Thursday night doing 30 hill repeats at Hyland. Phil and Molly joined me. Phil completed 25, and Molly would go another 45 minutes after I left. She is a feather and just finished the hills like they were flat…

By Sunday, I was a little stiff and sore. It was hard to move quickly, but I made myself go as quickly as I could the whole day. Good training. In Alan's words, "keep moving" is what I practice!

I am a little concerned, as my knee has a funny pain again. It has been here for over a week. It is not deep pain like before, but just nagging. It is not internally, either. I think it is just tendons from working so hard the past weeks. I am going to have one more hill workout, then taper.

Been checking the weather. It changes every day. One thing for sure is that it was 35 degrees up north yesterday… Additionally, I see 61 entrants in the Superior 100, which is at least 20 more than in 2007. And I did not even notice some people who said they were running it on the list. So, could we almost double last year? COOL!

I read Adam's blog, and he finished the entry by stating, "Carry on," noting that it was as "Londell would say." People often write certain sayings or beliefs that may have more significant meaning. I use the "Carry On" end for personal reasons, which I will share.

I first heard of Pamela McNeill in 2006 when a friend, Dana, played me one of her CDs and said she had a song that should be dedicated to me. I had come to a point in my life where I had just healed from a "Jones" fracture in my left foot, was facing the challenges of raising a teenage boy alone (his mom 1,000 miles away), and had recently been told to no longer call a girl I had dated on and off for a few years.  Dana (a good friend) and I were training for the first 50-mile race. The song she had dedicated was called "You Will Love Again." She explained that it was not intended to be for the love of another person, as I had just come from a relationship and needed time to heal, but for a love of life. I once had that love of running and that zest for life, and I see others enjoy it.

This was a significant turning point in my life as I started to find things I enjoyed again after being so out of tune with life. Running was a joy. Walking was a joy. Reading was a joy. Dana and I would run 3 to 4 times a week together, and I had found one of the greatest friends one could imagine. We had a common goal, to finish the Superior 50 mile.

In the summer of 2006, Dana was killed in a tragic bike accident. She wore a helmet, which was insufficient to stop the fatal outcome. I was devastated and hurt. I recalled vividly thinking God was cruel. I had started to lose faith. I went one evening to see Pamela McNeill at Bunkers. She sang a song she wrote called "One Good Angel." She cried in the into, I cried during the song... A part of the song:

Many years have gone by
Since you went away
But sometimes I still cry
like it was yesterday

But through this pain and the sorrow
I found beauty strength and true
And I know there will be one good angel coming through

One good angel coming through
One good angel to hold onto
And when I am out in the moonlight I reach up to you
And I know there will be one good angel coming through

Never have I known
A braver soul
How come it’s the good ones
That have to go

And when I am down in the sorrow
Felling all messed up in blue
I know there will be one good angel coming through

Ironically, this song hit me hard within such a short period of Dana's death. I thought of her often over the months and still do today. At the 50 mile in 2006, at the top of Britton Peak (42 miles), I stopped and cried. I was done. I could not go on... I missed Dana. A hiker stopped and asked if I was OK. I had pulled notes of inspiration from my pocket that I had given to me before the race and was reading them. Then the clouds went away, and the sun hit me harder and brighter than I had ever experienced. I felt a surge of energy… I felt like it was Dana kicking me in the bottom. One good angel.  I went on to finish the 50-mile race we would do together.  I felt like I finished with her!

It is from a song by a local musician, Pamela McNeill, the third song that had meaning.  She wrote we need to carry on. The chorus of the song "The World Beyond" follows:

So carry on...

all you quiet dreamers, carry on

misbehaving sinners, have fun (but hurry up)

'cause the burned-out disbelievers got it wrong

so all you quiet dreamers carry on

anyone who feels they don't belong

raise your hand and listen to my song

'cause the burned-out disbelievers

whoa they got it wrong 'bout the world beyond!

I carried so much hate for Dana's fate. I carried so much anger. But those three songs had such an impact over time. They sum up life. We make life what we want it to be. We can choose to believe or not to believe in God or the world beyond.

As corny as it sounds, I was given messages from these songs. Messages with significant meaning… I finish many posts with Carry on because the end result is that is all we can do. If we decide to quit a 100-mile race at 77 miles, I need to carry on; if we lose a loved one, I need to carry on; and if we find and then lose true love, I need to carry on. That ability to carry on no matter what God throws at us will make us a better person. We need to believe because, in the words of Ms. McNeill, "Cause the burned-out disbelievers got it wrong about the world beyond."

You can learn about Pamela McNeill at http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=98210968 and hear One Good Angel and the World Beyond…

That is the story... A little corny, but my heart still has jitters when I hear these songs. May Dana rest in peace and be with me during the 100 mile race and I will do my best to remember, all I can do is carry on.

So carry on, my friends, carry on...