Ever wonder, “What if I do not wake up tomorrow”? Does that thought ever run through your mind? Of course, with the crazy President, some fools have elected, that may be the thought of more people than we think!
With my most recent health setback, I have this thought every night as I go to bed. I am taking each day as a new day. Although I am also getting things in order. I might be a selfish or weird human being cause I am not worried about how others will carry on if I do not wake up. Most carry on fine now without my presence on earth; I am there when they need a strong arm or a shoulder to lean on for emotional or physical support.
Missing humans are a part of life, be it a wife or husband leaving, a child all grown up, or a friend you once cherished who now hates you. That is part of life we have all experienced, and life continues just fine. My effort is to sort through things I should have thrown away years ago, get all my financial documents so there will be little or no estate issues, and each day I leave work with precise information on what I have completed and the next step required so that any project can proceed with ease. If I do not wake up, I want there to be no burden on those who are still on this planet.
While there is no clear indication that I will not wake up, many things are wrong that create conflicts. Deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism always have risks. Pulmonary embolism can also lead to pulmonary hypertension, a condition in which the blood pressure in the lungs and on the right side of the heart is too high. With the many obstructions in the arteries inside my lungs, my heart must work harder to push blood through my vessels. This increases the blood pressure within these vessels and the right side of the heart, which can weaken my heart. I do go to the clinic twice a week for blood draws and monitoring, and for the first time in my life, my blood pressure is consistently 10 to 15 percent higher than at any time in the past ten years.
I am seeing the heart specialist again next week as I have experienced pain in the chest at least every other day that is new, and I can’t explain. They will also do another CATSCAN, and there is a chance they may consider clot removal surgery. There was a concern about my new clot that came a few weeks after the hospital and warfarin treatment. This may be more important if the heart specialist finds new issues.
With my most recent health setback, I have this thought every night as I go to bed. I am taking each day as a new day. Although I am also getting things in order. I might be a selfish or weird human being cause I am not worried about how others will carry on if I do not wake up. Most carry on fine now without my presence on earth; I am there when they need a strong arm or a shoulder to lean on for emotional or physical support.
Missing humans are a part of life, be it a wife or husband leaving, a child all grown up, or a friend you once cherished who now hates you. That is part of life we have all experienced, and life continues just fine. My effort is to sort through things I should have thrown away years ago, get all my financial documents so there will be little or no estate issues, and each day I leave work with precise information on what I have completed and the next step required so that any project can proceed with ease. If I do not wake up, I want there to be no burden on those who are still on this planet.
While there is no clear indication that I will not wake up, many things are wrong that create conflicts. Deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism always have risks. Pulmonary embolism can also lead to pulmonary hypertension, a condition in which the blood pressure in the lungs and on the right side of the heart is too high. With the many obstructions in the arteries inside my lungs, my heart must work harder to push blood through my vessels. This increases the blood pressure within these vessels and the right side of the heart, which can weaken my heart. I do go to the clinic twice a week for blood draws and monitoring, and for the first time in my life, my blood pressure is consistently 10 to 15 percent higher than at any time in the past ten years.
I am seeing the heart specialist again next week as I have experienced pain in the chest at least every other day that is new, and I can’t explain. They will also do another CATSCAN, and there is a chance they may consider clot removal surgery. There was a concern about my new clot that came a few weeks after the hospital and warfarin treatment. This may be more important if the heart specialist finds new issues.
In addition, on Thursday, I will have the Capsule Endoscopy to try and find the bleeding that they suspect is causing the anemia. While that is a simple process, I cringe at the thought of a 360-degree camera with a light passing through my system. Sometimes, it does not pass, which is an issue. I am hoping I see the camera pass, and I will not have that to worry about,
Anyway, life is odd, and going to sleep is more challenging when you wonder if you will wake up in the morning. I am sure I will wake up, and all will be fine; I am just sick of all the unknowns.
I did get out to take some pictures yesterday. Here is my favorite.
Anyway, life is odd, and going to sleep is more challenging when you wonder if you will wake up in the morning. I am sure I will wake up, and all will be fine; I am just sick of all the unknowns.
I did get out to take some pictures yesterday. Here is my favorite.
