It was on this day 10 years ago I
met a girl. I had been divorced
for several years and was ready to date.
Long term dating breakups or divorce is never easy as we once though
that person was perfect and then somehow, I failed in making that assumption. Looking back over the years, I often
blame myself for issues, not the other person. It helps keep the best of those memories alive. The bad memories are forgotten as once
I formed a new habit to rid myself of any perceived issues, why rehash them?
I always believed that the “one-year
rule” is essential after a breakup or divorce. This means you should limit dating, if you date at all, for one
year from any significant breakup.
Well, it was not really always a one year rule, but one year or the
amount of time you were together, if it were less than a year. It always gives you time to “get over”
the past relationship. I was
married for a decade, so in this case, it was one year but became 2.5 years
before I felt I was ready…
I knew little about the girl I was
going to meet. She was older than
I and shared many similar interests and noted differences. It was a blind date lunch.
We were to meet at Panera Bread at
11:30 AM. I was there at 11:25 AM,
as I hate being late. I
waited… It was 11:35 AM and
nothing. I was feeling a little
down as I thought I would be stood up.
Then at 11:38 AM, I saw a girl drive up in a Nissan Pathfinder. Now those who know me know I really do
not like big gas guzzling vehicles.
So here she was, late and driving the monster truck, but tossed my
disappointment aside.
We introduced each other and her
natural beauty stuck me. She did
apologize for being late (although over the past ten years, I think she has
been 8-10 minutes late 99% of the time.
It is just the ways she is...)
Then we went in to order. As she ordered, it was painfully
slow. I even had the nerve to say
“OK Sally” as she ordered like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. She laughed!
We instantly had a great
conversation. It was easy. I was felling really good about the
girl… Then she proceeds to tell me she is still married, but separated. So here I am, a man who likes promptness,
prefers prompt decision-making and insists the one-year rule is essential to
allow her to be ready for another relationship. So why did we keep talking? Well, I liked her…
Could be more of the opposites like the challenge?
Since that day, I have gone back to
that Panera store every year at 11:30 AM on March 23. All but last year when I was so stressed at work, I totally
did not realize it was March. When
the day came and I realized I forgot, my heart sank! Fortunately, she did not show either. (In all fairness, she
asked if I would be there and I told her I forgot and had a scheduled meeting.) However, what she does not know is I
left the meeting early and went to Panera arriving at 11:34 AM. I was alone… She did not show.
Although, I never told her I went…
I know, that was mean, but I think
this day we met means so much more to me than her. Even without her there, at 11:34 standing on that sidewalk,
I get a happy heart with the memory…
Of course there were other times she did not show, but that is another
story.
Since that day, my life is better in
so many ways, but one of the best ways is that she brought back the long last
enjoyment of storytelling. When we first started talking, back during that week
of furious emailing before we met in person. I told many stories and some I still recall to this
day. I digress… She is quirky like I am! she is almost
a female version of me in more ways than we are opposite! I know, that is unfortunate, but we
meshed… Sorry, I digressed…back to
today.
Today is the day I will go at 11:25 AM to Panera
Bread. Will I eat alone? Will she show? I do not know. All I know is on/off for 10 years;
things have been a challenge for me yet she makes my life better. Although I think we only yelled at each
other three or four times over the thousands of times were spent together.
I can’t recall more than a few times were mad at each other, if at all. Not sure there is another out there
like her, as in all my life, I have never found such a perfect match. I hope she shows up at the restaurant and
feels the same. Because to this
day, I still say “I met a girl…”
I hope you all have a chance to meet someone who just
seems like a match. It is a good
feeling and one every human should experience.
