I was a fat
kid -
well, at least for most of my childhood years. I learned to tolerate the
burdens and stigmas society attaches to "fat" people for a brief, yet
formative period in my life. As
happens to many children passing through puberty or other growth spurts, I
found myself becoming one of the "fat kids" at about 5th grade and
stayed in that group until about my sophomore year of high school.
During that
period, I became acutely aware of what it meant to be singled out. Often shunned, made the butt of jokes
and pranks, and acquainted with the cruelty that my "normal"
classmates could sometimes exercise, just to make sure that I knew my place in
the pecking order of adolescent society.
I also
learned the limitations of adult society as well. Grownups could be insensitive
or just stupid about what they might say.
This included my parents. I learned adults did not always consider a fat
child's needs to belong to his peer group at this age important at all as I
ended up with "fat kid" clothes, which in the 1970s, were rather
obviously different and styles compared to what our classmates might choose as
the "in" thing to be accepted.
From many
different quarters the inherent message was that "chubbys" or
"Fattys" were marginal members of society, at best. As long as we
knew our place as defined by the "majority", we could be tolerated,
but not always welcomed into the mainstream.
As anyone
who has lived through early adolescence knows, difference from the norm can be
a painful isolation, or at the very least, a source of real frustration. Many
folks would not see you as worthy, capable, or a desired associate. If we were
lucky, as I think I was, we learn to cherish the friends and relationships that
are offered without the prejudice or reservation. This is the way I have found true ultra-marathon
runners. Accepting and nurturing
individuals, not matter what the recipient of their kindness has an impediment.
I was and
remain lucky as I have a nurturing. A nurturing that sees past the limitations
or difference imposed by life’s lotteries. I was lucky enough to have had some
good friends and adults who accepted me for who I was when my family who did not
do the same.
Some of that
unconditional love helped me to realize that although society and my classmates
might not have the capacity to include me, there were people who did and who
worked at that goal. These were, and still are, the people I seek, and
regardless of the situation I may find myself experiencing.
I eventually
grew out of being a "fat kid". But as I changed, I realized that the
same forces of ignorance, exclusion, and petty assumptions were alive and well,
regardless of the targeted issue. The discriminations now arose from different
issues than just body size or shape, but frankly the source was the same - a
mindless conformity, a heartless insecurity. Had I not gone through my
"fatty" period and when I did, I might not have coped as well, or had
my values strengthened when more adult transgressions against decency,
tolerance, humanity, intelligence, and yes, even Love were to rear their ugly
heads.
It may seem
odd to some, but I see a lot of positive things with wide ranging good for the
soul that came to me from this experience. I think it made me stronger in ways
my unchallenged peers may have never considered. It at least taught me
something of human hurtfulness and of human acceptance and compassion;
something about finding true value in others, and applying those lessons in
shaping my own character and relations with others. It has been a road less
traveled, but has made all the difference in my experience since.
