Today is
Father’s Day. A day of celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal
bonds, and the influence of fathers in society. Father’s Day can mean
a lot of different things for many of us (same thing for Mother’s Day)… I
thought I’d pose the question to you above. Just what does Father’s Day mean to you through your
viewfinder in life, past and present?
Is
Father’s Day a lunch, pair of socks, a tie or a comical card about the old
man’s age? Commercialism
will tell us it is all of the above and more if they could sell it to us. It is
a bit like Christmas sometimes with an effort, and mostly at the last minute,
to buy that little something to show our appreciation.
There
are of course good fathers and there are bad fathers, my own being of the
latter variety. Not that I stay bitter for too long, it has only been about 30
years and I am not sure if I can say that I forgave him.
The
role of father is not an easy one; I know that well. I have a son and had a
daughter. We fathers often give
the attitude of a hard exterior and pretend nothing really bothers us much,
because as a dad that is expected. We are the foundation and cornerstone of the
family, whether we like it or not, and we should never delegate that role to
another. I have let a family fail
and delegated fatherhood to another…
What I
know as a father I often hurt more than many will ever knew. I can be good at hiding it but often it
comes of as anger. Anger to myself
for failing, each time I believe I fail. Then try our best to compensate for those failures only then,
seems life repeats itself. One
difference between my father and myself is I tried. Not sure how well either of us succeeded?
Am I the
perfect father? Far from it! As I
said, I did not exactly have a very good role model of my own to draw from, and
so often I was simply trying to do what I believed my father should have done
for me. A bad father is not one who fails now and again; the bad fathers are
the ones who fail to try.
I have
never needed to purchase a Father’s Day card or take a loving old man to lunch
and watch him take pleasure in the ones who loved him sitting around a table
celebrating the day with him. If you had that privilege this Father’s Day, then
you are very blessed indeed; there are many that never had and will never have
that day.
I quit
celebrating Father’s Day the day my Grandfather died. He was the best, well only father, I recall having. I have no idea how my father did not learn
from him. They were polar
opposites. They say that
happens. When you are not happy
with your upbringing, you do the opposite.
My
father grew up poor and he really was high on people knowing his success in his
chosen field. But that was a
farmer. We had little time for
play, family, and all the things that should be part of a good childhood. Yet, my grandfather taught me about the
bible, taught me how to sharpen the hunting knife (never used it), helped me when
my first girlfriend dumped me, taught me to drive, taught me to think and etc.... He was there for me when I did things
wrong and did things right. He
made me feel good about myself.
However,
I still wonder if I did a good job.
My son is so much like me except for the anger toward the father. He treats Father’s Day just like any
other day. I like to think it is
because he makes me feel like its fathers day 335 days a years. (I know there are 365 days, but even we
have an occasional issue.)
But I
know as a father I have succeeded and failed. It is to late to change that, I only hope if my son becomes
a father, he takes the time to learn more about that important job than those
before him. Although, no matter
what a father or mother decides when raising a child, there is never a right
answer as a parent as each child is different.
With
that, Happy Fathers Day Grandpa. I
miss you so much and you have been gone over 15 years!
