Cleaning out the photo files

Each year I clean out the photo files as with a digital camera I think I take about 3,000 photos annually but eventually only keep about 500. As I sort through many favorites, I thought I would share a few which I loved the way they turned out or the story they tell.

Here they are: (Click on the photo to see a larger, more vivid photo)

The best sunset picture I have ever taken... Colorado Rockies!


The blank looks when you need to pull yourself from a race early...

Not a good place to have both feet off the ground at once...

No, it is not tie-dye... A bloody nose went back miles earlier, when the blood stopped, just put the shirt back on...

This was taken at FANS... Minimalist?

So we are at another year end. They come and go so fast...

As I approach 2011, I have some questions in which I may have some answers. I am closer to my 50th birthday and cannot wonder why everyone is getting old around me? Why do people refer to 50 as middle ages? Does this mean I am going to live to be 100? I doubt it!!! If I am only as young as I fell, how does that account for all my worn out part? If I get my parts updates will I be the man of steal? Why do I keep asking this body to hurry up when in reality I am slowing down?

As I ponder the past year, and many past, I continue to have questions. Although, I can honestly say I have learned a few things about life in general:

• No matter how bad someone treated you, they are human and we need to learn to forgive.
• I cannot solve all my own problems so I need to stop trying to solve other peoples problems.
• Always put a "No Trespassing" sign directly above your "welcome" mat.
• Worry works, everything I worry about seems not to happen.
• If I pluck all my gray hairs, so that I will not become gray, I would be bald.
• Plucking those hairs from my ears and nose are easier than finding them.
• When I was 19, I knew everything, no need to ask. By the time I was 30, I was pretty sure there was more to know. But he time I was 40, my kid knew everything and corrected all my mistakes. Now I am pushing 50, and really know the most important thing, I have so much more to learn.
• Every day of my life is a struggle, yet I wake up each morning thankful to be alive and given another day to try to get it right.
• I am blessed to still have all God's blessings: Sight, Sound, Touch, Taste and Smell.
• I am thankful that I have met so many and have so many people in my life.
• Other peoples pets have taught me more about God's love than 1,000 sermons!
  

So if I do not post for the rest of the year... Thanks for reading (suffering or enjoying) my thoughts this year. Until then, think about the following...

"People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas."

"Be at war with your vices; at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better human."

Carry on my friends... carry on...

What, it's December 23rd! HOW?

Time flies as we age. I guess that is for sure in my life right now! I recall it being September like it was yesterday. Adding in some workouts to my 70 plus hour work weeks has made time fly. I get out of bed, head to work, work through lunch, leave work are about 7 and about three of those days I got a workout in. Sure feel good and desire to do it so much more. But how?

Well, I could get up at 5:30 AM and head to the gym. Tried that one day but was to tired at 7 PM to head to the gym. Just not sure what is the best solution, but glad I am still trying. In these stressful times it is so much easier to give up.

I did pick up my son last weekend in Colorado. It was a different experience than ever before. I think he is stressed as well. For the first time since I got divorced over a decade ago he started yelling at me about things including the Divorce and my parenting . It was an uncomfortable experience, that is for sure. Sometimes it is hard to forget harsh words of others, even if they were spoken out of anger and not intended to be as harsh as they were taken. This is a lesson I know I took long to learn, and look like he is following in my footsteps.

Could be I am just a little to sensitive. With life just being work, sleep, work, sleep, try to clean the place, work, sleep... I just feel like I have lost life. I was talking to women who was recently released from prison and she was stating that life was better there. While she lost freedom, in her free life she has no time or many and has less freedom.

But when my son went on the verbal attack, it was difficult. One thing I am most proud of is being a father. I really gave and continue to give everything I can all with a focus that he improves and becomes a better man. Although, I think that was one of many reasons I fail in so many way in other things such as relationships or self-preservation. I learned the hard way there needs to be a balance between all aspects in life. I guess that is what being a Type A does to a life.

I also goofed up and somehow when I washed his 5 loads of clothes he had built up, somehow bleach got on a few of his favorite shirts. Another black eye on that one. But then again, somehow I goofed up, but not sure how.

I have been getting plenty of questions lately about Grandma's Marathon. It is the 35th year and it would be my 27th. My heart if not in it at all. I long for trails but clearly despise the road. I respond that I will do it if someone who thinks they would struggle to finish, I would go with them and pull them through. Last year I finished and only ran 15 miles from January through June, so mentally i am fine. But that is getting harder as I really dislike running that same course every year.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. My son will be here, I set up the three foot high tree. Looks so funny with the presents hiding the tree. Oh well, so much easier to take down, right? All I can say is I hope 2011 does not go as fast as 2010. I need to make adjustments and get life back on track. Many roads to travel and I still do not have a road map. So I will keep using the instinct to determine the best path and assure that I am not to proud to turn around and go back when i think I went the wrong way. I the past, I kept going and as I age, in realize it is better to admit my mistakes and try another path. That will assure eventually, I will be on the right road. But then again, as my friend points out, mother nature can change the path at anytime and all I can do is be patient and use the knowledge I have gained.

Carry on my friends...

Expectations

I was working out with a friend the other day and she started talking about feeling like she was on the outside looking in to life. I questioned what she meant by that statement. Summarizing what she said, she said she while her husband is next to her, she feels like the is a glass wall between them (except when infrequent intimacy is involved but all other times), she said at her now job she just seems to not fit in, she said with her over-achieving family she feels left behind, and she said with most workout friends, she feels less than adequate.

A consistent point was “she feels” and I asked her what they have done to make her “feel” that way. She said they do not smile, do not say hi, and they are just there with little appreciation for her efforts. I explained I know what she means, because I have been there as well, and some ways, I still am. I commented she should read “the cost of living” (http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9781590173275). In that book, it is not about the women in the world with perfect exteriors — their hair done just so, their manicures never chipped, their voices soft and silky and never saying the wrong thing. Instead the author writes about draggled laces, sagging hems, and ribbons undone. Her stories about everyday women, heroines are the awkward, the hopeless, the immature, and the ones on the outside of womanhood looking in, like her and many others. I told her I do not think it will be a revelation, but is a good read. I will wait to hear any comments, if she reads it.

What I thought was how this is preconceived notion that we have a certain level of self worth and a certain amount we can give, before we expect to benefit from the work and effort. It is the expectation within us that creates disappointment. Like when I expect to finish a marathon in less than 4 hours. I feel like I failed when in reality, I had exceeded more than 99.6 percent of all humans. (So the web says in a study from 2007.) What a great thing I should celebrate. But my expectations are what really caused the problem.

I do this all the time! Have expectations and then big time disappointments. May my next 15-minute per mile run/jog be joyous for what it is, a successful run. Still doing more than a majority of word, just not accomplishing anything in comparison with the friends I keep...

Carry on my friends…