I was looking so forward to working as a volunteer at Zumbro but my job has me in New Orleans... Bummer!
Not sure why I watch the Olympics. I have been getting into Curling, then the United States blew it...
And then the scale! I did it! I stepped on the scale. I have not stepped on that scale for 5 weeks. I have been working out often and felling better. Yesterday I did 2 hours and 15 minutes of biking and light weights on top of biking. I am logging 120-150 minutes a day of aerobic exercise with a heart rate between 100-120. two days a week i work out before work, five days a week I have been doing 45 minutes at lunch, average of 4 nights a week i get an hour in. Been tracking the food intake on three programs and that all show I should have a nice calorie deficit. I was thinking I was doing so well. I was looking forward to a good number. Well, I gained 5 pounds. YEP, 269 pounds! 57 pounds more than when I finished the Superior 50 mile and 39 pounds more than when I went at 77 miles in the ST 100. F*#% is all I could say.
Crushing... I just can not help it but to once again being fat is just hard to accept as I am working so hard!!! It brought back memories...
We all have stories of our lives that we hold deep inside, especially those of us who were fat children then lost weight and became fat as adults, then lost weight and became fat again. But as a child, I clearly recall the shame that only fat children really know and understand. I have been there. In the 7th grade I weighed 21 pounds less than I do now weighing in at a good solid 248 pounds. I am three inches taller now...
Being fat taught at an early age that often fat people were unacceptable by societal standards, it wasn't a hard lesson to learn. Fortunately, I do not get the same impression as an adult, but still have those scars of when I was the 7th grader nicknamed "porky". There was no place to escape the ridicule and shame, except food... as family, school and doctors all provided pressure about the "problem". I have that same sensation now as a adult struggling with the weight.
I use the term "Fat" now only used as a descriptor, but there were other names besides porky when i was a child that still stick... chunky monkey, husky, butter balls, etc, etc. Bottom line, some people are fat and struggle so much to overcome the phobia. I have come to learn there is nothing wrong with the term "fat" and use it in this post. But what does a this have to do with this blog?
The goal of this blog has always been simple...to share and to learn. Everyone has had a different set of life experiences...some great and some horrific. How life goes, how to train, how to eat, how to overcome injury. I have though I may change the blog to a daily weight, exercise and calorie diary but that is so boring... Not sure what I will do? Weight myself daily? I know I need to re-evaluate my food intake. Do I do as people say you never should, that being go less that 1,200 calories. According to the programs, I have averaged about 1,900 calories a day over the past 5 weeks with an average calories burned during exercise of 1,100. Just makes no sense! No sense at all? The numbers say one thing, the body says another?
On the health front, I have had breathing issues extending back to the 2008 Psycho-Wyco. I feel great when I work out but shortly after and throughout the day I can not breath and I cough and hack all day long, unless I am working out. Earlier this week, I could not stop coughing for at least 10 minutes and struggled to breath to the point of tears...
Throughout the past two years, it was more of a come and go issue, but now it is difficult not to hack every 15 minutes all day long. In to years, I have had 4 visits to the Doc about this, two chest x-rays, two rounds of antibiotics, two types of inhalers, nebulizor and yet it just hangs on! This past month, my coughing is now to the point that I feel my head bulge and pain comes out my eyes when I have a real hard coughing episode. So with the weight gain when I am monitoring my food intake so close, I contacted my physician and we discussed this long term issue. As the result of our discussion, I am going to take a few days off from working out and head to the Doc for a series of test Friday.
In that time, I am going t0 decide where I will go with the blog. I no longer have the goal to run again and I no longer have a goal to race again. My first goal this year was to deal once again with this weight issue and then see where it takes me. My goal had been 230 pounds 65 days from now. To do that, I need to lose one pound every 1.66 days (3.87 pounds per week) to make that goal. I do not think that is possible or healthy so I will have the blood drawn, I think I will seek a hormone test as well. No doubt there is something F%#$ed up... I just am out of questions in seeking answers. Any of you have any ideas?